Sunday, July 2, 2017

Happy Fourth of July

Have a happy and safe Independence Day

Sunday, June 11, 2017

In Memory of Those Who Died in Orlando - June 12, 2016

Reposting this from one year ago.

Let us not forget those who lost their lives in a senseless act of hate and violence. And also keep in mind the families, loved ones, friends and the entire Orlando community whose loss and grief is still very real and present.

49 Names


Stanley Almodovar III, 23 years old

Amanda Alvear, 25 years old

Oscar A Aracena-Montero, 26 years old

Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33 years old

Antonio Davon Brown, 29 years old

Darryl Roman Burt II, 29 years old

Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28 years old

Juan Chevez-Martinez, 25 years old

Luis Daniel Conde, 39 years old

Cory James Connell, 21 years old

Tevin Eugene Crosby, 25 years old

Deonka Deidra Drayton, 32 years old

Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez, 31 years old

Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25 years old

Mercedez Marisol Flores, 26 years old

Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22 years old

Juan Ramon Guerrero, 22 years old

Paul Terrell Henry, 41 years old

Frank Hernandez, 27 years old

Miguel Angel Honorato, 30 years old

Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40 years old

Jason Benjamin Josaphat, 19 years old

Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, 30 years old

Anthony Luis Laureanodisla, 25 years old

Christopher Andrew Leinonen, 32 years old

Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21 years old

Brenda Lee Marquez McCool, 49 years old

Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, 25 years old

Kimberly Morris, 37 years old

Akyra Monet Murray, 18 years old

Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo, 20 years old

Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, 25 years old

Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36 years old

Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32 years old

Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, 35 years old

Enrique L. Rios, Jr., 25 years old

Jean C. Nives Rodriguez, 27 years old

Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, 35 years old

Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz, 24 years old

Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, 24 years old

Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34 years old

Shane Evan Tomlinson, 33 years old

Martin Benitez Torres, 33 years old

Jonathan Antonio Camuy Vega, 24 years old

Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37 years old

Luis S. Vielma, 22 years old

Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez, 50 years old

Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37 years old

Jerald Arthur Wright, 31 years old

Thursday, May 25, 2017

A Picture...A Thousand Words

I just can't resist posting this (without permission or attribution because I don't know where it originated).

Consider it a 1000 word essay. And it is not fake news, and don't let anyone tell you it is. I only wish I knew what Pope Francis was thinking.

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Another Gay Popcorn Movie from Netflix - Hurricane Bianca

OK. We all need a break from the daily reports about the disaster in the White House and all the depressing news about how our world and all its safeguards are being dismantled by executive order and draconian legislation....

So here is a Campy Netflix Movie to warm your heart and bring a smile to that troubled countenance.

A gay male science teacher gets fired in Texas, of course, (sorry Russ) and somehow is able to return - in outrageous drag - as a female science teacher and get his revenge.

Yes, this is so over the top. The drag outfits are over the top, the situations are over the top, the whole premise is preposterous.

But if it doesn't make you laugh or at least root for Bianca, then you are worse off than I am.

Link here

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Pope Francis and the Snake in the Oval Office

Pope Francis gave a relatively uninspiring TED talk recently. But despite the lack of anything revolutionary, he did talk about the good Samaritan, about leaving needy people behind, along the wayside. About entire peoples who are discarded as worthless.

He also talked about people who are concerned only with money and things and so often regard people as worthless.

Here is the video with English subtitles:

Someone else gave a talk recently and compared the people Pope Francis talked about to venomous snakes...and by extrapolation, to every immigrant present and past who has come to the United States seeking opportunity and a chance to contribute to this nation...this could likely be you, your parents, your grandparents, your progenitors in one way or another.

I will only give the link as I don't wish to contaminate my blog with his image: Link to Snake

Just when you maybe thought he couldn't get any more outrageous he repeats these lyrics with such vitriolic disdain that it is sickening. I guess he hasn't yet reached the infernal depths of the cesspool of revulsion of which he is capable. (Please excuse the mishmash of words...I cannot find sufficient words or words precise or succinct enough to express my disgust).

NOTE: In New Mexico, even some snakes are protected and given more respect than our "president" deserves.

Friday, March 31, 2017

Creator of Rainbow Flag, Gilbert Baker, Dead at 65

A beautiful, joyous symbol that has been adopted all over the world to proclaim our pride. Especially dear to those of us who grew up in a time when we struggled privately with our emerging but inevitable identity. May it continue to wave with dignity against so much hatred, prejudice, violence and lack of understanding.

Condolences to the family and friends of Gilbert Baker.
Gilbert Baker  anothevideo tribute here.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

A Little Road Trip

Leon has been working 10 and 11 days at a stretch and finally had four days off in a row! So we took a little road trip in our "new" used camper. 
Water From a Stump?
We Took a Wrong Turn:
"Journey of the Dead"
There's Lots of Rusty Iron Lying Around
Fence Art in T or C
The Very Large Array
(I Thought It Would Be Larger)

But the Clouds Are Interesting
Casitas Near the Elephant Butte Dam
Our First Trip With the "New" "Used" RV
Elephant Butte Lake
Lake Surrounded by Desert
Like/Not Like Ocean and Sand Dunes
Rio Grande Below the Dam
Side Trip to Chloride: Not Much There
What Happens to Old RVs
At Elephant Butte

Not Our Camper

Our Camper
Near Acoma

All Acoma Pueblo photos taken with permit.
Mission San Esteban, Acoma

View From Acoma Pueblo

In New Mexico rocks defy gravity.

Stairway Down From Acoma
Descending the Mesa 

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

An Illustration by Jason Gross

No transgender student should have to suffer these consequences.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Manchester By The Sea - A Respite In The Midst Of Chaos

I must confess that I've been following the disaster in Washington closer than the weather related disasters in California and elsewhere... as if we need another example of climate change - it won't make a bit of difference to our new head of the Environmental Protection Agency who is intent on doing anything but protecting the environment.

And then there was the Congressional Hispanic Caucus being denied entry to a meeting with ICE - can anything out of Paul Ryan's office be more disrespectful.

Yes, I've been a news addict. Checking my blog list morning, noon and evening and sometimes in between. I refresh the browser frequently because some new development might have transpired in the past ten minutes.

Perhaps the entire administration has resigned. One can only hope.

In the midst of this nightmare, seeing a movie sounded like a good idea. Leon is working a 10-day stretch so I made a date to go to the movies with Wendy, our neighborhood admirer of gay men (she's too nice to be called a fag hag). So we went to a matinee on Saturday.

Strange that I felt as nervous as a teenager on a first date, given that I have never felt anything but comfortable with Wendy for the 16 months that we've been friends since moving here to Cochiti Lake.

But my date anxiety is beside the point.

I want to say a few words about the movie, Manchester by the Sea. Now, I am no film critic; for a slew of reviews or for a synopsis of the storyline you can Go here for that.

I've seen only two movies in an actual movie theater in the past year and a half, maybe two years. The last one was that Star Wars sequel or prequel which was not worth writing home about. Leon made me go.

But Manchester by the Sea was truly a movie that lived up to the artistic standards that make for great films.

I admit that one of the reasons I wanted to see Manchester by the Sea was because the story takes place in New England - in Massachusetts which is quintessential New England (the scenes of snow and trees and water and boats and winding country roads and congested small town traffic - such familiar scenes...pleasant perhaps, but they also reminded me that I do not miss the snow and the back-breaking shoveling and the tight narrow streets and honking horns of impatient drivers).

The filming location and setting in New England and by the sea becomes a character in its own right. And the choice of background for each scene not only contributes to the mood and impact of the scene, but conveys a realism that brings the viewer into the experience: a torn chain link fence, street-dirty snow, a fishing boat out on the water, a country road, a pub, a basement apartment, an alleyway, a cluttered bedroom.

As for the movie itself, in my view, Casey Affleck as Lee Chandler carried the film almost singlehandedly, although fine performances were delivered by the actors playing supporting roles and lesser characters (all of whom are listed here). My only critique is that Patrick seemed older, too precocious, for a 16-year-old.

The film artfully and carefully revealed the pain and anguish that Lee harbored for years following a horrific tragedy. We wonder about so many things. The script and the director and the acting all masterfully make us wonder and question: what are the pieces of the story, the past, that makes this guy so introverted, both so meek and so prone to explosive anger, so deeply sad and stoic, why he behaves in certain ways, what became of his ex-wife, his alcoholic sister-in-law, the reason why he left his hometown, his relationship with his brother and nephew. The filmmaker uses flashbacks to fill in the missing pieces - a technique that here is done so well and perfectly integrated.

 The stereotypical Catholic Irish American has been portrayed in TV and film so many times that we must all be familiar with the men who are conditioned not to show any emotion that might be considered weak or feminine but who are allowed bravado and, sometimes explosive, anger. A culture where alcohol is both a social lubricant and a curse. A culture where all tragedy and loss is either repressed or dealt with stoically, or eased by a few stiff drinks.

The family in Manchester by the Sea is, I suppose, a typical/stereotypical, Irish American New England family, convincingly and realistically portrayed. A family not untouched by tragedy. As this story unfolds, the underlying emotions, despite the several characters' efforts to keep them buried, take on a life of their own. Emotions come to the surface gradually, most noticeably in Lee, but also in Patrick (Lucas Hedges) and Randi (Michelle Williams), as people and events force the characters to confront their losses.

My only regret on seeing this film was that I did not bring a box of Kleenex.

Go see Manchester by the Sea. If you're anything like me, bring Kleenex.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

New Mexico's Senator Udall Reads Coretta Scott King's Letter

Our New Mexico Senator, Tom Udall had the floor today and read the entirety of Coretta Scott King's letter opposing Sessions' previous nomination as Federal Judge.

Thank you Senator Udall for standing against the nomination of Senator Sessions for US Attorney General and for vindicating Senator Elizabeth Warren who was cruelly and vindictively shut down by the spineless and petty republican majority.

Please, continue to resist the regressive and dangerous Republican agenda. We are with you.

Thank you.

As far as the spineless republicans shutting down Senator Elizabeth Warren, they might have just as well invoked rule Number 798,562. It was a blatant attack on Warren. They despise her 1) because she is a woman, 2) because she is not afraid to speak truth to power, 3) because they are embarrassed to see their sins written in the sand. Seems like they had all kind of excuses why she was censured but the men who read Coretta King's letter were not.

Please listen to Senator Udall's entire speech. He is not afraid to tell the truth about our president.

I have vowed not to use the name of the president, nor honor his title with a capital P.

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Sound Like Someone You Know?

The following was taken from a website that compiled a summary of various articles on Sociopath/Psychopath/Anti-social Personality Disorder. The compiler did not take credit for the post nor affirm any copyright. I have condensed the article further. BOLD print is my emphasis.

Profile of the Sociopath: some of the common features found in various descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths.
Glibness and Superficial Charm 
Manipulative and Conning: They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims. 
Grandiose Sense of Self: Feels entitled to certain things as "their right." 
Pathological Lying :Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities.
Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt: Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way. 
Shallow Emotions: Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises. 
Incapacity for Love 
Need for Stimulation 

Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common. 
Callousness/Lack of Empathy 

Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature 

Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others

Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed. 

Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity 
Entrepreneurial Versatility 

Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them

Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them



Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired

Conventional appearance

Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life

Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)

Extreme narcissism and grandiose

May state readily that their goal is to rule the world

(Some of the above traits are based on the psychopathy checklists of H. Cleckley and R. Hare.) 

NOTE: In the 1830's this disorder was called "moral insanity." By 1900 it was changed to "psychopathic personality." More recently it has been termed "antisocial personality disorder" in the DSM-III and DSM-IV.

DSM-IV Definition 

Antisocial personality disorder is characterized by a lack of regard for the moral or legal standards in the local culture. There is a marked inability to get along with others or abide by societal rules. Individuals with this disorder are sometimes called psychopaths or sociopaths. 

Antisocial Personality Disorder Overview (Written by Derek Wood, RN, BSN, PhD Candidate) 

Antisocial Personality Disorder results in what is commonly known as a Sociopath. The criteria for this disorder require an ongoing disregard for the rights of others, since the age of 15 years. Some examples of this disregard are reckless disregard for the safety of themselves or others, failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors, deceitfulness such as repeated lying or deceit for personal profit or pleasure, and lack of remorse for actions that hurt other people in any way.
People with this disorder appear to be charming at times, and make relationships, but to them, these are relationships in name only. They are ended whenever necessary or when it suits them, and the relationships are without depth or meaning, including marriages. They seem to have an innate ability to find the weakness in people, and are ready to use these weaknesses to their own ends through deceit, manipulation, or intimidation, and gain pleasure from doing so. 

They appear to be incapable of any true emotions, from love to shame to guilt. They are quick to anger, but just as quick to let it go, without holding grudges. No matter what emotion they state they have, it has no bearing on their future actions or attitudes. 

They rarely are able to have jobs that last for any length of time, as they become easily bored, instead needing constant change. They live for the moment, forgetting the past, and not planning the future, not thinking ahead what consequences their actions will have. They want immediate rewards and gratification. There currently is no form of psychotherapy that works with those with antisocial personality disorder, as those with this disorder have no desire to change themselves, which is a prerequisite. No medication is available either. The only treatment is the prevention of the disorder in the early stages, when a child first begins to show the symptoms of conduct disorder. 

The problem with [the psychopath’s] game is that we don't often play by their rules. Where we might occasionally tell a white lie, a psychopath's lying is compulsive. Most of us experience some degree of guilt about lying, preventing us from exhibiting such behavior on a regular basis. "Psychopaths don't discriminate who it is they lie to or cheat," says Seto. "There's no distinction between friend, family and sucker." 
Often they aren't even qualified for the job and use fake credentials to get it.

Even though we can't treat psychopaths effectively with therapy, it doesn't mean we can't protect ourselves, writes Hare. Willson agrees, citing the most important factor in keeping psychopaths at bay is to know your vulnerabilities. We need to "realize our own potential and maximize our strengths" so that our insecurities don't overcome us. Because, she says, a psychopath is a chameleon who becomes "an image of what you haven't done for yourself." Over time, she says, "their appearance of perfection will begin to crack," but by that time you will have been emotionally and perhaps financially scathed. There comes a time when you realize there's no point in searching for answers; the only thing is to move on. 

THE MALIGNANT PERSONALITY: (Taken in part from MW -- By Caroline Konrad -- September 1999) 

These people are mentally ill and extremely dangerous! The following precautions will help to protect you from the destructive acts of which they are capable. 

First, to recognize them, keep the following guidelines in mind. 

(1) They are habitual liars. They seem incapable of either knowing or telling the truth about anything. 

(2) They are egotistical to the point of narcissism. They really believe they are set apart from the rest of humanity by some special grace. 

(3) They scapegoat; they are incapable of either having the insight or willingness to accept responsibility for anything they do. Whatever the problem, it is always someone else's fault. 

(4) They are remorselessly vindictive when thwarted or exposed. 

(5) Genuine religious, moral, or other values play no part in their lives. They have no empathy for others and are capable of violence. Under older psychological terminology, they fall into the category of psychopath or sociopath, but unlike the typical psychopath, their behavior is masked by a superficial social facade. 

If you have come into conflict with such a person or persons, do the following immediately! (The author is talking about personal acquaintances, not public figures)

(1) Notify your friends and relatives of what has happened 

(2) Inform the police.

(3) …if wealthy or politically powerful individuals are involved… include state and federal agencies as well and tell the locals that you have.

(4) Make sure that several of your friends have the information in the event something happens to you. If you are dealing with someone who has considerable money, you must realize that they probably won't try to harm you themselves, they will contract with someone to make the hit. The malignant type is a coward and will not expose himself or herself to personal danger if he or she can avoid it.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

The Underlying Cause Of Our Anxiety: It Has A Name - Gaslighting

Came across several articles that finally describe what I have been feeling for months. That uneasy feeling that despite video proof, witnesses, fact checking, and science, we cannot seem to get out from under obfuscation, denial, and some nightmarish fog that is spreading over this nation. I don't normally repost entire published articles, but I'm doing so here along with some links. Read on:

Wikipedia: Gaslighting or gas-lighting is a form of manipulation through persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lying in an attempt to destabilize and delegitimize a target. Its intent is to sow seeds of doubt in the targets, hoping to make them question their own memory, perception, and sanity.[1][2] Instances may range from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim. The term owes its origin to Gas Light, a 1938 play and 1944 film, and has been used in clinical and research literature.[3][4]

 CNN article:

Article from TEEN VOGUE       

      DEC 10, 2016 11:40AM EST

The CIA officially determined that Russia intervened in our election, and President-elect Donald Trump dismissed the story as if it were a piece of fake news. "These are the same people that said Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction," his transition team wrote in a statement. "The election ended a long time ago in one of the biggest Electoral College victories in history. It’s now time to move on and ‘Make America Great Again'."
It wasn't one of the biggest Electoral College victories in history, so presumably that's another red-herring lie to distract from Trump treating the Central Intelligence Agency of the United States like it is some rogue blogger to be cast to the trolls. A foreign government's interference in our election is a threat to our freedom, and the President-elect's attempt to undermine the American people's access to that information undermines the very foundation upon which this country was built. It's also nothing new. 

Trump won the Presidency by gas light. His rise to power has awakened a force of bigotry by condoning and encouraging hatred, but also by normalizing deception. Civil rights are now on trial, though before we can fight to reassert the march toward equality, we must regain control of the truth. If that seems melodramatic, I would encourage you to dump a bucket of ice over your head while listening to “Duel of the Fates." Donald Trump is our President now; it’s time to wake up.

"Gas lighting" is a buzzy name for a terrifying strategy currently being used to weaken and blind the American electorate. We are collectively being treated like Bella Manningham in the 1938 Victorian thriller from which the term "gas light" takes its name. In the play, Jack terrorizes his wife Bella into questioning her reality by blaming her for mischievously misplacing household items which he systematically hides. Doubting whether her perspective can be trusted, Bella clings to a single shred of evidence: the dimming of the gas lights that accompanies the late night execution of Jack’s trickery. The wavering flame is the one thing that holds her conviction in place as she wriggles free of her captor’s control.

To gas light is to psychologically manipulate a person to the point where they question their own sanity, and that’s precisely what Trump is doing to this country. He gained traction in the election by swearing off the lies of politicians, while constantly contradicting himself, often without bothering to conceal the conflicts within his own sound bites. He lied to us over and over again, then took all accusations of his falsehoods and spun them into evidence of bias. 

At the hands of Trump, facts have become interchangeable with opinions, blinding us into arguing amongst ourselves, as our very reality is called into question.

There is a long list of receipts when it comes to Trump's lies. With the help of PolitiFact, clear-cut examples of deception include Trump saying that he watched thousands of people cheering on 9/11 in Jersey City (police say there's no evidence of this), that the Mexican government forces immigrants into the U.S. (no evidence), that there are "30 or 34 million" immigrants in this country (there are 10 or 11 million), that he never supported the Iraq War (he told Howard Stern he did), that the unemployment rate is as high as "42 percent" (the highest reported rate is 16.4 percent), that the U.S. is the highest taxed country in the world (not true based on any metric of consideration), that crime is on the rise (it's falling, and has been for decades), and too many other things to list here because the whole tactic is to clog the drain with an indecipherable mass of toxic waste. 

The gas lighting part comes in when the fictions are disputed by the media, and Trump doubles down on his lies, before painting himself as a victim of unfair coverage, sometimes even threatening to revoke access. 

Trump has repeatedly attempted to undermine the press, including such well-respected publications as the New York Times. He has disseminated a wealth of unsubstantiated attacks on the media, though this baseless tweet from April pretty much sums it all up, "How bad is the New York Times -- the most inaccurate coverage constantly. Always trying to belittle. Paper has lost its way!" 

As a candidate, Trump's gas lighting was manipulative, as President-elect it is a deliberate attempt to destabilize journalism as a check on the power of government. 

To be clear, the "us" here is everyone living under Trump. It's radical progressives, hardline Republicans, and Jill Stein's weird cousin. The President of the United States cannot be lying to the American electorate with zero accountability. The threat of deception is not a partisan issue. Trump took advantage of the things that divide this country, pitting us against one another, while lying his way to the Oval Office. Yes, everything is painfully clear in hindsight, but let’s make sure Trump’s win was the Lasik eye surgery we all so desperately needed. 

The good news about this boiling frog scenario is that we’re not boiling yet. Trump is not going to stop playing with the burner until America realizes that the temperature is too high. It’s on every single one of us to stop pretending it’s always been so hot in here.

There are things you can and should be doing to turn your unrest into action, but first let's empower ourselves with information. Insist on fact-checking every Trump statement you read, every headline you share or even relay to a friend over coffee. If you find factual inaccuracies in an article, send an email to the editor, and explain how things should have been clearer. Inform yourself what outlets are trustworthy and which aren’t. If you need extra help, seek out a browser extension that flags misleading sites or print out a list of fake outlets, such as the one by communications professor Melissa Zimdars, and tape it to your laptop. Do a thorough search before believing the agenda Trump distributes on Twitter. Refuse to accept information simply because it is fed to you, and don’t be afraid to ask questions. That is now the base level of what is required of all Americans. If facts become a point of debate, the very definition of freedom will be called into question. 

It will be far easier to take on Trump’s words when there is no question of what he’s said or whether he means it. Regardless of your beliefs, we all must insist on that level of transparency. Trump is no longer some reality TV clown who used to fire people on The Apprentice. He is the President of the United States.

The road ahead is a treacherous one. There are unprecedented amounts of ugliness to untangle, from deciding whether our President can be an admitted sexual predator to figuring out how to stop him from threatening the sovereignty of an entire religion. It’s incredible that any of those things could seem like a distraction from a greater peril, or be only the cherry-picked issues in a seemingly unending list of gaffes, but the gaslights are flickering. When defending each of the identities in danger of being further marginalized, we must remember the thing that binds this pig-headed hydra together. As we spin our newfound rage into action, it is imperative to remember, across identities and across the aisle, as a country and as individuals, we have nothing without the truth.


  • Discrediting you by making other people think that you’re crazy, irrational or unstable.
  • Using a mask of confidence, assertiveness, and/or fake compassion to make you believe that you “have it all wrong.” Therefore, eventually, you begin to doubt yourself and believe their version of past events.
  • Changing the subject. The gaslighter may divert the topic by asking another question, or making a statement usually directed at your thoughts, e.g. “You’re imagining things—that never happened!”  “No, you’re wrong, you didn’t remember right.”  “Is that another crazy idea you got from your (family member/friend)?”
  • Minimizing.  By trivializing how you feel and what you think, the gaslighter gains more and more power over you, e.g. “Why are you being so sensitive?” “You don’t need to get angry over a little thing like that!” “I was just joking around, why are you taking things so seriously?”
  • Denial and avoidance. By refusing to acknowledge your feelings and thoughts, the gaslighter causes you to doubt yourself more and more.  For example, “I don’t remember that, you must have dreamt it!” “You’re lying, I never said that.” “I don’t know what you’re talking about, you’re changing the subject.”
  • Twisting and reframing. When the gaslighter confidently and subtly twists and reframes what was said or done in their favor, they can cause you to second-guess yourself—especially when paired with fake compassion, making you feel as though you are “unstable,” “irrational,” and so forth.  For example, “I didn’t say that, I said _____” “I didn’t beat you up Johnny, I just gave you a smack around the head—that’s what all good fathers do.”  “If you remember correctly, I was actually trying to help you.”

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

And Now...A Word From Matt

How the next administration could destroy LGBT progress made with the help of Obama - and likely will:

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Tribute to Bronski Beat Keyboardist Larry Steinbachek Dead at 56

Bronski Beat was being played in the bars/discos in the 80's when I was going through my "gay adolescence" and spending lots of time making up for lost time. "Smalltown Boy", "I Feel Love", "Tell Me Why", great gay sound.

See Joe My God for more YouTube video/audio selections.

A Time To Write To Our Washington Folks

Please fell free to use any all all of the following letter to congresspersons.

This will go out in tomorrow's mail. I have already remitted a brief email to our congresspersons and this is my detailed follow-up:


We are writing you as private US citizens and residents of New Mexico to urge you to do everything in your power and official capacity as our New Mexico Senators/Representative, to resist any and all attempts by the Republican leadership to craft, advance, bring to a vote, or enact any form of legislation that would repeal or destroy the progressive advances of the Obama Administration, including but not limited to:
  • any attempt to repeal the Affordable Care Act, or privatize Medicare
  • attempts to eliminate any hard won and legitimately affirmed LGBT rights, 
  • any action to reverse or eliminate laws, regulations and programs that recognize climate change or protect the environment or natural resources.
Further and more specifically:

We also urge you to resist, question, scrutinize and hold accountable any and all potential cabinet appointees. 

In the same vein, we would strongly urge you to thwart any nominee to the United States Supreme Court who has demonstrated racial prejudice, misogyny, anti-LGBT bias, or who has preconceived notions about social and political issues which are likely to come before the court. 

Please speak to the congress for us and many others in denouncing the agendas of such nominees and appointees whenever there is any evidence of racism, anti-LGBT discrimination or hatred, climate change denial, or other potentially destructive beliefs apparent in their resumes, history, past behavior or public statements.

We also urge resistance to any legislation, which, in the guise of “religious freedom,” would deny LGBT citizens their rights to marriage equality, military service, public accommodations, commerce, employment, or human services. 

We ask you to resist any and all legislation that would allow certain fundamentalist and conservative religions the special right to deny liberty and freedom and particular aspects of full citizenship to LGBT citizens. 

Further we support legislation which would secure the equal and just rights of all citizens; that would flatly reject any religious or “moral” test or give weight to the tenants of any particularly vocal belief system; freedom of religion must include all religions, not all of which share identical beliefs, and accommodate as well, those who adhere to no religion.

We also appeal to you to thwart any attempts by the new administration to single out individuals for special scrutiny or observation or surveillance based on religion, race, national origin, political affiliations, sexual orientation or gender identity.

In addition, we urge you to support re-establishing nation-wide fair and just voting rights by reversing the blatant gerrymandering and restrictions put in place by Republicans to disenfranchise minority voters; and to work to ensure that all voting districts in every state are drawn fairly and equitably and that voting laws are not restrictive.

We urge you to support LGBT rights, to protect the right of gay, lesbian and 
transgender individuals to marry, serve in the military and to be free from 
discrimination and harassment. 

We also urge you to include protecting the right of Transgender individuals to self-expression and self-defined identity and to educate those among you to the fact that transgender individuals do not pose a threat to women or children and that draconian laws not only do nothing to protect women and children, but they also, if adhered to, would have undesirable consequences for trans and cis-gendered persons as well.

We support efforts to protect women’s health care options and not allow the Republican and conservative religious forces to restrict most or all access to health care for middle income, poor and low income women based solely on one aspect of that care.

We urge you to maintain laws and programs that protect our precious environment, land, oceans, wildlife, natural resources, national parks and monuments and other environmentally sensitive resources and to educate those among you about the real effects of climate change and the role of human activity as a causal factor.

We urge you to help ensure that immigrants, legal or not, are treated fairly and with both mercy and justice and to find reasonable and compassionate solutions for such individuals and their families.

We also urge you to thwart any attempt to initiate a witch-hunt against, or any further investigation of, Hillary Clinton.

In summary, we are asking you to be vigilant for us, to speak truth to power, and to fight for our democracy, which is not only being threatened from without, but by many of those from within who were elected, more or less democratically, to defend it.

Thank you for your service.



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