Lost Dog

 Well I feel just terrible.

Back when we were preparing to evacuate in case the wild fire made it as far as our town, we got all our necessities, canned food and valuables (ok, valuable) together and transferred most everything into the camper. The plan was to take the camper and truck to a friends house in Santa Fe where he has plenty of room to park.

Other belongings were stacked in a bin by the front door for weeks, including important papers, check book, credit cards, extra meds, and room for any last minute items and perishable food, etc.

We definitely had Benni's ashes among the items we either packed into the camper or the bin by the door. 

So of late we are planning a trip to the East Coast and want to bring Benni's ashes to bury next to Bruno in Connecticut. So I went to find Benni's ashes. Benni was a very large dog and the container with his ashes is a large cylinder about 10 inches tall and 3 to 4 inches across. It is quite heavy also.

Well, I looked and looked throughout the house with no luck. I figured it was in the camper which was in the shop for a new water heater. 

The camper is back home now and Leon and I searched it thoroughly. Every drawer, cabinet, cubby, compartment and under the bed. Nothing. 

We searched the truck, the car, the garage, the house again. Every container, bin, storage area. Nothing.

Poor Benni is LOST!

I hope you find me...

Grandma always said "You don't know a nothin' yet. Even aft'a you dead, you don't know a nothin' yet." So, Benni, did you know that you could get lost after you were dead?

So this is one of those times, even if one is skeptical or a non-believer, one prays to Saint Anthony*. It can't hurt.

"The “Unfailing Prayer to St Anthony” is a prayer requesting the assistance of Saint Anthony of Padua in finding lost items. It is one of today’s most popular prayers, and has been used by Catholics around the world for centuries. It is typically used to find lost items, such as keys or other small objects (we're asking big) that have been misplaced."

"Blessed be God in His Angels and in His Saints

O Holy St. Anthony, gentlest of Saints, your love for God and Charity for His creatures, made you worthy, when on earth, to possess miraculous powers. Encouraged by this thought, I implore you to obtain for me…

[Mention your request here]. Amen."

* You can take the Italian out of the church but you can't take all of the Catholic out of the Italian.

Three Weeks Grieving - Comments from the JMG Community

 RRebel •
O/T I have been away from JMG for several days as our beloved dog, Benni (Benedict Bentley) who had degenerative myelopathy, took a turn for the worst on last Friday. On our visit to the vet on Saturday morning we said goodbye forever to our boy. It was most heartwrenching and anguishing and we sobbed and are still grieving. When it comes to a beloved pet being put down, all the forest fires and pandemics and idiots and politicians just become so much background noise. I have posted a memorial and some photos on my blog, https://reluctantrebel.blogspot.com/.

COMMENTS FROM JMG COMMUNITY  (LGBTQ NEWS BLOG) These comments from people I've never met have touched my heart and soul more than they know.


ColdCountry RRebel •  
Good by, Benni.

 





Jwmvh ColdCountry •  
That brings a tear to my eyes every time I read it! Hugs to RRebel.



TheManicMechanic RRebel •  
I'm so sorry. All that unconditional love and unbridled joy that dogs give to us all the time finds a home in your heart like nothing else. It's real, it's pure, and it's honest. And when it's gone, the hole it leaves is vast and empty. I still get upset when I'm reminded of what I lost years ago, but I have to remind myself I was lucky enough to experience it.




Doug105 RRebel •  

 






fuzzybits RRebel •  • edited 
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. We've been through it many times over the years and it never gets easier.


thatotherjean RRebel • 12 days ago 
Even when it's absolutely the right thing to do, saying goodbye to a four-legged family member is always painful. But it's still the right thing. Benni was as lucky to have you as you were to have him.




bkmn - End the filibuster! RRebel •  
Goodbye Benni. You will be missed.




JCF RRebel •  
{{{RRebel and Benni's Pack}}}



Mike P RRebel •  
I’m so sorry. Looks like he gave you both years of joy.



Beagle RRebel • 
RIP, Benni.



Stella RRebel •  
I'm so sorry.




Smokey RRebel •  
(,,,) hugs (,,,)




bobb RRebel •  
I am so sorry.




Dwight Williamson RRebel •  
Unlimited sympathy ,although we have all been through it. We are always caught unaware and our pets, the better angels of our lives leave us sad and wanting. Not what they would ever have wanted alive. I am so happy for all the years you had and so sad for your unbearable loss. ♥️




bzrd RRebel • 
you were a good boy Benni
and loved your hoomans
the very mostest
you were the
best
love




hdtex RRebel • • edited 
What a beautiful boy. I recently lost my boy Foster to the same disease. I moved heaven and earth for him, walking him in a harness and sling. He finally let me know when he had to go.




Peanuts mom RRebel •  
I cant possibly tell you how sorry i am about bennis passing. It truly hurts my heart. He looks like a wonderful guy. I just cant imagine it, though its in my future eventually. Youll be in my thoughts & ill hug my kids extra tight tonight. Take care.




Dan M RRebel •  
Sorry for your loss.




Cattleya1 RRebel •  
They are important little people in our families. I am so sorry for your loss!



BearEyes RRebel • 
It's never easy. Big bear hugs to you.




RRebel BearEyes •  
A bear hug would be most welcome. Thanks




egmister RRebel •  
Cheers to Benni! To his life! To his Love!




TuuxKabin RRebel •  
A Black Beauty. Condolences. He must have been a good filter from all that backgrounds noise. Bye, bye Benni.




Girlgoon RRebel •  
Sorry to hear it. Take time to grieve




Ninja0980 RRebel •  
Hugs.
Sorry for your loss.




Mb RRebel •  ago 
Heartfelt condolences.



B Snow RRebel •  
I'm so sorry. I know he had a great life with you.



In Memory of Our Beloved Benni - Benedict Bentley

 

On Friday morning August 6th, 2021 Benni and I walked the trails in town with his pack: Guiness, Sky, Buddy, Tulley, Ari, Tommy, Buddy2,  and the neighbors who are regular morning dog-walkers: Denise, the"Treat Lady", Heather, "Treat Lady #2", Larry, Susanne, Cindi, Bill.

Benni was slow, (see previous posts about his condition: degenerative myelopathy) but kept pace with the pack. Back home he was settled for a long nap as is his habit. I had errands to do in town and got back around 2pm. I took him out to pee and he was a bit wobbly. When Leon got home around 3:30pm Benni stumbled in the driveway when he went out to greet his Daddy.

I said to Leon, "Maybe he's a bit stiff from napping all day." We both thought that was the case and rubbed Benni's back thighs. But Benni was having some difficulties. A short while later Benni fell down while eating his dinner. His hind legs just gave out. And his 110 pounds of weight very likely caused physical injury to his leg(s) because when we tried to get him up he whimpered in pain. (Up until that point he hadn't showed any signs of pain. Pain is generally not a symptom of degenerative myelopathy.)

We called the Vet immediately and was given an appointment for the next morning, Saturday, August 7th.

It was then that I posted a request for a doggie wheelchair on "Nextdoor" - a neighborhood social media platform. We were thinking that Benni might be able to get around with a device but by later Friday night that possibility seemed very unrealistic. 

We could barely get Benni out to pee before bedtime and we arranged a number of old towels on and around his bed in anticipation of bowel or bladder accidents. He had been pooping in his sleep for several weeks and often times during the day he would head toward his doggie door but not quite make it. It seemed that my life was revolving around poop. 

Somehow, around 2:00am Benni got himself up and came over to my side of the bed - something he might do in the morning when we were waking up, but never did in the wee hours. It broke my heart. I gave him some love and rubs and scratches on his head and neck and he went to lay down on the floor. 

Leon and I were awake at 4:00am and I said, "It's about time for Benni to poop." (he had been unable to control his bowels for several weeks and he seemed to have to go between 4:00 and 5:00am). We moved the big guy onto a towel and sure enough, there was soon a nice solid (thank goodness) turd to dispose of.

A bit later Saturday morning Leon and I got Benni into the car. The two of us could barely lift his 110 pounds of dead weight. We drove the 35 miles to the Vet.

The vet assistants and Dr. D. attended us as soon as we arrived. We knew in our hearts what the outcome would be. The vet confirmed that dogs at this stage of the disease would often injure themselves by falling and then become unable to get around. She gently and compassionately suggested that Benni was telling us that he was no longer physically able to be either independent or to be cared for.

Benni was still alert, aware. And this fact made our decision all the ore difficult. He was still, as always, ready for a snack. The vet assistant gave him some treats and he soon polished off the entire contents of the packet. 

The vet let us spend some time alone with Benni - Leon, Benni and Frank. We cried and told him goodbye. We hugged him and petted him and hugged him some more.

The vet and assistant returned to the room and shaved a spot on his leg for the IV. Benni was quiet, peaceful, calm as he awaited the injections. It was over so quickly, so finally, so irretrievably. Leon and I sobbed.

When we returned home, the post about the wheelchair became Benni's obituary of sorts. And the comments of our friends and neighbors on "Nextdoor" are perhaps the best memorial to our beloved Benedict - a name that means "blessed" or "blessing". Benni was probably the only dog in the neighborhood that regularly walked without a leash most of the time. So many neighbors knew him by name.

ME: Doggie wheelchair Just wondering if anyone has a doggie wheelchair that. will fit a 100-pound dog. Our Benni just took a turn for the worse and we are barely able to get him up. Concerned that we won't be able to get him moving to do his business. We have an appointment with the vet in the morning.

Posted in: Ask a Neighbor

Don J.

Awwww! Poor Bennie. Did you look on line? Also ask Gary T if he could build you something he loves that kind of challenge

Sue

Keep us posted.💕🐕🙏

Sharon

Use a towel under his chest as a sling! Lift him up and you basically have to haul him around. Had to do it for my Riley, they will go to the bathroom 💕💕💕I am so sorry 

Melo

Sure hope the vet can do him some good😕 Give Benni our best 🥰

Aurora

I don't but I will send Bennie happy puppy thoughts so he feels better

Sylvie E.

Hope Bennie and you have a peaceful night and that the vet can help. Sending love and blessings 💕🐶💕💞🐾

Cindy

I have a lift with handles, easier than a towel and same idea. Had to use it on Gracie. Also try Marketplace on FB and check on the Santa Fe BB and ask. Hugs to Benni and his dads. Peace to you both.

ME: Perhaps we could borrow that tomorrow morning in order to get him into the car to the vet. We used a blanket tonight to take him out to P. It was not easy. He doesn’t want to put any weight on his hind legs and is reluctant to move his front legs as well. We’re thinking that we may have to decide to put him down tomorrow at the vet. The thing is that his mind is alert and he still enjoys eating and his treats. But there’s no way we can even move him easily let alone taking him out to do business.

Elizabeth

another thought - my sister's dog wasn't moving, and was stressing (he's a 12 yr old lab), and she was thinking that they were close to the end, and she got some CBD treats to try, and he's a changed pup. He stopped stressing, and she is able to take him out again. Just thought I'd share. Hugs to all of you 💕

Cindy

 what time in the morning are you going? I have the lift right here. Just give me a call and I’ll run it over. 

Cyndi G

Cindy’s lift sounds like one of the harnesses I saw that allows you to support the dog’s weight. Hope it will help with carrying Benni. Bill & I have an appt. in Albuquerque tomorrow AM, so we won’t be in town to help but send love & are keeping you in our thoughts. I did read that to get a large dog in the car, with paralyzed or painful limbs, they recommend you put the pet’s front paws on the seat, then help lift the rear end, so they are able to get up more easily. I suspect you & Leon have tried a few things & hope for ease tomorrow. Maybe a fire dept. volunteer or another neighbor could help you with the lifting? (And the dog wheelchair is a good idea - stories we’ve seen are heart-warming, if mobility is the main problem.)💕🐾

ME: Cyndi G. Thanks for your concern. One of our neighbors offered to help and the vet office said they would help when we arrive. We are prepared for letting him go after the difficult night we’ve all had. Thanks again.

ME: Elizabeth. We will talk to the vet about that. Thanks

Elizabeth

I'm so sorry, Frank 💔 Lots of love to Benni💗

Tina F.

I have a sling that I used on my 100 pound dog. Give me a call...

ME:Thank you for the kind offer. I think will be able to get him into the car this morning. I’m not optimistic about his return. Thanks

Tina F.

 thinking of you.

Pat

I have a wheelchair that I made for my Ashen, but could never get him to use. He was about 60 pounds, so I don't know if it will fit, but you are welcome to it. If it doesn't fit, my offer stands for anyone with that size dog.

ME:Thank you for the kind offer. I think he is beyond the point where a wheelchair would help.

Pam

Frank so sorry. Don’t have any doggie handicapped equipment.

ME: Thank you all for your kind words support and offers to help. I think he is beyond the point where a wheelchair will be of any help. We will see after consulting with the vet this morning. Thanks again.

Rennee

Sorry he's having a hard time. Hope things go well for him and you. ❤

Mary

Frank and Leon, I’m so sorry to hear that Benni is struggling. He’s such a sweet and kind guy. My heart is with all of you. 💗

Ruth

Thoughts are with you and your faithful sidekick. The loss of his companionship will seem unbearable at first but then remember the wonderful life he enjoyed because of you.

Melody

What’s the latest on Benni?

ME: We said goodbye to Benni this morning. It was a difficult decision but the vet confirmed that he no longer had control of his body. Thanks for your concern. We miss him so much.

Margaret

 I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Of course you will be missing your Benni, but it sounds like you made the only choice possible.

Melody

Making the decision is so hard to do but watching them suffer is worse. So for those of us who love our furry friends so much make the difficult choice. He will be missed but he was truly loved. So sorry for your loss of your dear friend Benni. Bill, Melody, Hooper and Chico

Christine

So very sorry, Frank and Leon. It’s just hard to say goodbye to our furry family members.💝

Aurora

My heart goes out to you and Leon. Even though we know it is the right and best choice for the baby we love, having to put them down is hard and our heart still hurts. May Benni be running and playing like a puppy in heaven

Pam

So sorry guys. He had a great life with you all. His spirit is running free🌈

Josi

So sorry for this loss.

Suzanne

Oh dear. Benni was such a good boy. Really sorry to hear this. Hope you 2 are okay.

Cindy

❤️

Joanne

So sorry for your loss.

Diane

Dear Frank and Leon, I know your pain but I also know that you made the right decision for Benni. He's running around in doggie heaven right now and thanking you two for giving him a wonderful, loving life here on earth. Bless his soul. diane

ME: Thank You All. To our wonderful neighbors in Cochiti Lake: So many of you have expressed your condolences and thoughtfulness after an inquiry about a doggie wheel chair became a notice of our Benni’s passing. We were amazed at the number of messages we received on Nextdoor and text/email messages over the past two days. We are truly grateful for all of your support. Please forgive us for not thanking each of you individually or in person as we pass you in the street or mail room. I have never been good at remembering names or connecting names to the faces they belong to; and this is more true as I get older. It is often embarrassing not to be able to greet a neighbor by name, so please do not be offended if I don’t thank you personally for your kindnesses. (I would love if we all wore name-tags when walking around town!) All of your notes and messages during this sad event has demonstrated how special are the folks who live in Cochiti Lake. We are grateful for and appreciative of your friendship and heartfelt words. Thank you all.

Sharon

Love you guys 😍

Suzanne G

Condolences on your loss of a beloved family member. Benni was so lucky to have such loving parents. 💕

Michael L.

Our deepest condolences over the loss of your Benni. May you both know only peace and no further grief all the rest of your days.

Susan

I am so sorry that Benni is gone. He sure was such a sweet dog and will be truly missed.

Mark

Frank and Leon so sorry to hear of the passing of Benni. Our dogs are our family members and bets friends and companions.

Gwen

Frank and Leon...I am so sorry to read about Bennie. These dogs are definitely family, and it is so hard to lose them.

Leslie

I'm sad to learn of this. He had a kind ,warm spirit. He will be missed. He had loving parents

Wendy M

Frank and Leon - Benni will truly be missed by all of us who were blessed to know him. His was a very gentle spirit - you knew when you met him that he was deeply loved. He was the only black dog that my Daisy would have anything to do with! May you find comfort in your memories of him. Peace to you.

You can see Benni's Blog here: http://benedictbentley.blogspot.com/

Benni

 

Our Benni has taken a turn for the worse. He has (presumptive) degenerative myelopathy but was able to take a walk this morning. 

This afternoon his back legs gave out while he was eating dinner and he could not get up on his own. He is not putting any weight on his hind legs now and we are having a difficult time moving him. 

He will be seeing the vet tomorrow morning. 

WHY?OMING

So, after 32 years together, I underestimated Leon's powers of persuasion - again. I was content to stay home. 

But Leon had it in his mind to check out a camper that he'd seen on Craig's List. A used (2006) 24 foot Arctic Fox Fifth Wheel. They don't make them that small anymore and we have a limited parking spot across from our house.

I saw the photos and was unimpressed, but Leon saw the photos and saw his dream camper. "It will be good to get away. We really need a road trip. So sick of doing nothing this past year. It will do us good." And a number of other persuasive arguments.

Problem was, the coveted camper was in Wyoming. A seven and a half hour drive not counting eating, peeing and walking the dog.

The dog. That was problem number two. Benni is not doing great. The past few months he's been having a problem with his hind legs. The vet says it's likely a neurological problem. Apparently it's fairly common although I'd never heard of it. If we want to get a CT scan or MRI for $1300 plus the consulting fee we could get a better diagnosis. 

A better diagnosis will not provide any particular options for a cure. There likely is no cure. Something is obstructing the messages from Benni's brain to his hind quarters. He is not walking normally. He stumbles occasionally. He poops while walking and leaves a trail. We will take Benni with us of course.

We decided to drive about 5 hours and stay in Colorado Springs for one night. "Soul, Community, Planet" - SCP - an interesting hotel, dog friendly, environmentally friendly, liberal values. They donate a tree to re-forestation of the rainforest or something for each guest. Unfortunately there was only a paved parking lot to walk the dog. Not a tree on the property. Oh, well.

We checked out "Garden of the Gods Nature Center" before checking in. I guess I was tired from the drive. We didn't have the time or energy to hike the trails and Benni might not have appreciated a hike either, so we drove through.  So it was a lot of rocks.

Photos below of SCP - The hotel in Colorado Springs. 

We ordered pizza and ate in the hotel. We won't eat inside a restaurant, no matter what the state says is OK. Nice hotel, but I DID NOT SLEEP FOR A SECOND ALL NIGHT! Why? I couldn't tell you except that I was wired like I was on some kind of amphetamine or a gallon of caffeine. Horribly long night.

We drove another 3 hours the next day. The highlight of the trip for me was a stop in Denver to splurge at an Italian imports market. Capicolla, Mortadella con pistacchio, Prosciutto, Capa Cavallo,  Pancetta. Stuff I cannot find in New Mexico. Heaven.

Multiply this photo by 1 million = Wyoming

So, bottom line: the camper in Wyoming was not Leon's dream. We had planned to stay in Cheyanne overnight but did you ever read the reviews of hotels in our price range? Actually we would have chosen a better hotel but the good ones were all booked up. So we decided to just put miles behind us and head south.

I drove most of the way. Lucky I didn't fall asleep at the wheel. Leon drove. We made it to Pueblo Colorado by around 5 PM and went through the stress of finding a hotel. I stopped reading the reviews. Leon drove into the parking lot of one and went in and booked a room. I was exhausted from lack of sleep and didn't care anymore. I think it was a Best Western. Not cheap, but comfortable. 

The rooms were accessible from an inner corridor instead of my preference - door directly to outside - preferred both because of COVID and having the dog. Our room was on the second floor. We had to exit through the lobby to walk the dog. I worried that Benni might have to go out during the night. What if he didn't make it and pooped all down the hallway? So we walked him for a good hour before going to bed. Still I worried.

So our very needed getaway turned out, for me, to be a very stressful weekend. Pretty much a weekend from hell. The saving grace is that Leon and I get along, even under stress and he is always supportive (even though it was his idea to drive to friggin Wyoming and cause me all the stress in the first place).

Just an update: Benni had acupuncture today. Hey, I am a sceptic but we'll give it a try. Leon and I got notice that we can get our COVID vaccine #1 on Friday. That is a relief.

Benni walking.

Yesterday's Snow Will Be Tomorrow's Mud

How many times have I mentioned that one reason we moved to New Mexico was to get away from the snow in New England. Yesterday it found us.

We got hammered in our little village,but of course there was no snow at all in most of Albuquerque and friends in Santa Fe said they only had about an inch, most of which was gone by noon. 

Our share was 6 to 8 inches and will be around for a while. 

Then will come the MUD. I don't mind hiking with the dog in snow, but MUD here is another thing altogether. It's more like concrete, or should I say, more in keeping with the locale, adobe.  

Another day for that, but for now we're enjoying the white stuff.

 

 

For more pics see Benni's Blog

Selfies With Benni, Wrinkles, Gout, And Make Your Bed

Saw a photo of some young, sexy shirtless guy with tats posing with his Siberian Husky...so was inspired to do some selfies with our dog, our Weimador, Benni. Neither of us is pedigree, but Benni is by far the more handsome. See below.

Back to Stonewall yesterday posted a 1970's listing of the gay bars in New York City. Each came with a description of the venue and/or the clientele likely to frequent each establishment. There were a number of leather/western bars and private clubs; other categories included raunchy leather, backroom, disco, cruisy, intimate, fun, friendly, piano lounge, cabaret.

But there was one that I'd never heard before: "wrinkle room" 

And I thought to myself, "that's probably where I'd be relegated to now!"

And I admit, it made me laugh!

The gout acted up this week...something that's only happened once (well actually twice within a short time from the same trigger) in four years. 

The last time was days after I had started taking glucosamine/chondroitin. Left big toe was swollen and painful. When I tried to recall if anything in my diet had changed, the only thing I could identify was the G/C. So I stopped taking the pills and the gout cleared up.

I did some internet searches and found nothing that would indicate that G/C was a trigger. I thought perhaps it was just coincidental, so after t couple of weeks, I continued with taking the glucosamine/chondroitin hoping it would help with some aches and pains. 

Sure enough, gout in the right big toe flared up on cue. No more G/C for me, no more gout. That is until last Sunday evening.

We had been to a birthday celebration for a friend and I threw caution to the wind and asked for a gin and tonic. I am not a drinker and don't particularly like gin and tonic...but it was the only thing that came to mind when I was asked what kind of cocktail I'd like. Other's were asking for Scotch or Bourbon which I find distasteful. 

My drink was 3/4 gin and 1/4 tonic. I had a hard time downing it...sips at a time. So, does anyone know if GIN will trigger a gout attack? 

It flared up Sunday evening, had me down Monday and mostly cleared up by Wednesday...until Friday when I wore some rather tight-fitting hiking boots because we had a good snowfall...well, Friday night I was awake and in agony again till 2:30am when the second dose of indomethacin and ice pack kicked in to offer me some relief.

And on Friday Leon had been suffering some anxiety about work and we had to take Benni to the Vet because he'd been having diarrhea for two days since he must have gotten into something when we were walking in the arroyo and I wasn't watching him.

I told Leon that we've had such a good run and good karma, we can't complain. But maybe our karma has changed. Either that, or it was because we didn't make the bed Friday after getting up.

Lessons for this week. Embrace your wrinkles. Stay away from glucosamine/chondroitin. Don't let the dog eat dead animals or coyote poop. And always make your bed.

As you can see, Benni is not the easiest subject to get to pose for a selfie. BUT ISN'T HE CUTE?