Not Feeling the PRIDE Quite Like I Used To

 Some thoughts for PRIDE MONTH though I'm thinking a month may be pushing it.

I was a late bloomer, or should I say a late boomer. I came out in my 30s after a very long and arduous journey filled with fear, denial, guilt, shame, depression and anguish. My coming out was, for me, the very definition of Gay Liberation and I’ve been wearing the Lambda symbol on a necklace for 40 years, since 1984.

Gay Liberation, born in the 70s but conceived years before that, was a political and human rights movement that grew in response to years of oppression and lies and prejudice and misinformation and violence.

During the early hours of June 28, 1969, the Stonewall Inn, thought to be associated with the NY mafia, was raided by police with no warning. Armed with a warrant, police officers roughed up patrons and arrested people for bootlegged alcohol and other violations, including criminal mischief and disorderly conduct.*

Some of our sisters and brothers decided that they just weren’t going to take it anymore and defied the status quo that included regular police harassment and arrests. What followed were not peaceful protests and colorful celebrations. There was street violence born of abuse and pent-up anger and humiliation and frustration. It was the beginning of the modern Gay Rights Movement.

In the years that followed, we marked the anniversary of those angry riots in Greenwich Village with peaceful parades and colorful celebrations. Our liberated voices proclaimed who we are, refuted the lies and misguided opinions and defied the institutions and laws that kept us repressed and powerless. It was a time when all of our new-found pride and optimism and dignity and confidence was wrapped up in a Rainbow Flag speaking volumes to the straight world. It was a time when a cream pie to the face was about as violent as our protests ever got.

The activism of the 70s became more urgent with the growing AIDS epidemic in 80s. It included protests and civil disobedience, widespread media coverage, books and articles, and the voices of enlightened psychologists, medical professionals, religious leaders, politicians and others. Celebrities and public figures came out in solidarity and others were forced out when they became ill with HIV/AIDS.

Lesbians, bisexuals, transgender and other sexual minorities declared their own unique liberation and celebrations throughout the 80s, 90s, 2000’s.

We were finally being heard and the truth of who we are was finally being understood by many who hadn’t really known us, or who had misconceived notions about us. But there were many more who would never, ever, “get it”.

Still, we were optimistic. We were making strides. Some stalwart organizations and even religious and educational institutions were beginning to realize that given the discrimination gay men and women were subjected to by society, government, religion, businesses, other entities and individuals, it was not likely that our sexuality is a choice, but is rather a natural and innate fact of our existence.

Even the Supreme Court had the sense to recognize that we are persons with rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and that should include the rights and privileges of marriage. Many of us, partnered for years, for whom marriage was never even conceivable, decided to marry after the Supremes gave their blessing.

I think our/my pride was rooted in optimism. My unfettered optimism of those 36 or so years, particularly 1984 through 2014, has begun to erode in recent times. I once believed that truth and facts and reason would be our weapons against lies and ignorance and obstinate beliefs. Because, of course, all people have the capacity to recognize truth and facts and reason, have they not?

The evidence in recent years says no. It seems that the hate and ignorance and over-valued straight sense of superiority has multiplied one hundred fold. It seems that the haters have become more bold and vocal and recalcitrant. And our allies have become complacent and, at best, continue to use tired rhetoric and mild-mannered words in a feeble attempt to incapacitate the enemy.

I remain a proud and out gay man, but I think I am realistic enough to also be afraid. I have conflicting thoughts about Pride celebrations, Pride parades, Pride days, Pride month, rainbows. I fear that we are possibly making ourselves easy targets; that we are creating new Stonewall Inns and Pulse nightclubs but they are venues without walls or disco or booze. I would hesitate to drive across country with a rainbow sticker on my car or depending where, to kiss my husband goodbye at an airport.

Our law makers and law enforcement agencies have shown mediocre, if any, commitment to keeping us safe and of late many lawmakers throughout the country have actually passed laws that could or will endanger us. They threaten to take away our hard earned rights like marriage equality and non-discrimination laws. If the law is no longer on the side of human rights and safety, where is a safe space to be found?

These haters and religious fundamentalists are cowards. Cowards with dangerous weapons. Cowards who target the minority within the minority among us, the phalanx with fewest numbers. The trans community, the non-binary, the gender dysphoric young people. The ignorant, utterly stupid folks who cannot understand same-sex attraction do not have anywhere near the mental capacity to comprehend the realities of those who identify as the opposite sex or who identify as neither or who are born ambiguous or who experience their selves in unique or different ways. Understanding, empathy, curiosity, openness are non-existent among the troglodytes.

And this brings me to my own rather politically incorrect thoughts about our Rainbow Flag.

I remember when the Rainbow Flag made sense. It was just a celebratory and subtly defiant symbol affirming our right to exist fabulously and be ourselves gayfully.

Back in the days of liberation and Pride, the Rainbow Flag was never meant to represent various or individual sexual or gender identities.

In recent years the addition of "Identities" by virtue of additional stripes or symbols or patterns may have the potential for engendering divisiveness, rather than being unifying.

I have no problem with the inclusion of any and all sexual/gender/identities or minorities in the larger LGBTQ+ community. But it seems the anti-gay, anti-everyone-who-is-not cis-gender-heterosexual segment of the human race has decided that our individual differences make us vulnerable. And they are using our differences to chip away at the rights we've gained by attacking the most vulnerable and visibly different. 

We best be vigilant. Because they hate all of us and would wipe us off the face of the earth if that were remotely possible.

……And, taking the time time machine back to when I remember the term "GAY" was all inclusive.

“Gay” referred to anyone, male or female or transgender or transvestite (that’s a long forgotten term) or drag queen or butch or fem - anyone with same-sex attraction and to all sexual/gender non-conforming individuals.

There were "gay women" and flamboyant queers and macho guys and the ones who went both ways occasionally. We were all gay. And proud and rebellious and illegal.

With women's lib the gay girls preferred the "lesbian" moniker. OK. I worked for the Gay and Lesbian Health Collective back in that day and age. And then the bi-sexuals want to be singled out with a B and the transfolk didn't feel they were necessarily gay or lesbian or bi, so we added a T.  And then they put the L before the G in deference to giving priority to the women. OK, no problem. All the letters a bit awkward and unwieldy, but progress.
 

Even with the LGBTQ+, not so long ago we were all one family on Pride Day, but not so much these days.

Honestly, are we all but just a letter of the alphabet? The more we splinter our community into specific identities and preferences, the less a part of the whole I feel. I don’t think I am alone in that. 

I would suggest that it is in being a part of the greater whole that engenders true Pride.

Oh, well, I am old, so what do I know? The youth will have to journey forward and live on the road they pave.

I lived through a time of repression, liberation, HIV/AIDS and the era our of civil rights, marriage equality, homes in the burbs and RVs.  It's been a ride.

Happy Pride.

 

* In the 1960s, while homosexuality was legal in the state of New York, establishments openly serving alcohol to gay customers were considered by the State Liquor Authority (SLA) to be "disorderly houses," or places where "unlawful practices are habitually carried on by the public." 

Can It Be As Simple As Lack Of Empathy?

 Please read Debra's Post on "She Who Seeks". It is an eye-opening explanation of where we are at with the conservative efforts to takeover the government. But the problem remains: what is the antidote?

Another Chapter of "Life in the Land of Entrapment"

 We are in Grants, New Mexico for the holiday weekend. Staying in our camper at a KOA Campground. The reason for choosing this exciting destination is that Leon is on assignment as a Ranger (filling in for someone on vacation) at El Malpais (Badlands) National Monument (the BLM section, not the National Park section).

Bird on Lava

Spending time in Grants, New Mexico is about as exciting as waiting for a bus. (Especially as I had a gout flare up just as we arrived - something that happens once or twice a year at most for no apparent reason except for glucosamine chondroitin (2x) and large quantity of shrimp (once) or possibly dehydration). I ventured out yesterday to the Ranger Station and to see some rocks. The outcroppings are kind of spectacular, or maybe just photogenic. But as with most of the scenery, after you've seen 100 different rock outcroppings, it kind of loses its thrill.

The Arch - La Ventana

The Last Cholla Flower

 

And as to why 114,276 acres of lava would be declared a National Monument, the only reason I can think of is "What else can you do with 114,276 acres of 3,900 year old lava?" (some is actually 700,000 years old).

Mount Taylor

The landscape can be interesting, if monotonous at times. You can drive for hours with only a few changes in the terrain which is vast and intimidating. I cannot imagine the Spanish explorers (plunderers?) arriving at the edge of a lava field that where mountain goat wouldn't go and which stretched as far as one could see.

Lava Bubble

Vegetation in the Crevasses of Dry Mud

It is also "monsoon" season here in New Mexico. We have seen more rain in the past few weeks than in the past six years, and that is not saying much. It is especially dangerous for areas around the "burn scars" of forest destroyed by recent wild fires. 

In summary, if I have to vacation in an area that is covered in lava flows, I really think Hawaii would be my first choice.

The SCOTUS Pandora's Box

So, what happens when a US President is so obsessed with winning votes that said president will nominate incompetent judges put forward by an evangelical, rapture-believing religious cult to the Supreme Court? And when a cult-driven congress confirms these incompetent, cult-minded, ideology laden individuals?

They begin to make decisions that will destroy the fabric of this country, that's what. And they justify these decisions based on what was reality in 1787.

Beware of the fallout from the recent SCOTUS decision banning abortion. It's tentacles can have far-reaching effects and may be responsible for new state legislation and subsequent litigation for years to come. This article about Alabama is the tip of the iceberg. It wont be long before they come after same-sex marriage, LGBT anti-discrimination laws, and who knows what else based on the fact that such laws "are not deeply rooted in our history or traditions" 

From The Advocate:

"Alabama’s attorney general’s office filed a brief Monday that made similar arguments found in the SCOUTS decision, according to the Associated Press. Namely, the state argues that gender-affirming care isn’t “deeply rooted in our history or traditions,” which is directly taken from the Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization ruling on abortion rights.

Because it is not “rooted” in U.S. history, Alabama claims it can ban the treatments. In the brief, the state also argues for a ban not only on gender-affirming care to youth, but to transgender adults as well.

“No one — adult or child — has a right to transitioning treatments that is deeply rooted in our Nation’s history and tradition. The State can thus regulate or prohibit those interventions for children, even if an adult wants the drugs for his child,” the brief states. “The Constitution reserves to the State—not courts or medical interest groups—the authority to determine that these sterilizing interventions are too dangerous for minors.”

The brief also states, “Just as the parental relationship does not unlock a Due Process right allowing parents to obtain medical marijuana or abortions for their children, neither does it unlock a right to transitioning treatments. The Constitution reserves to the state — not courts of medical interest groups — the authority to determine that these sterilizing interventions are too dangerous for minors.”

Let's make a list of federal laws that are NOT DEEPLY ROOTED IN OUR HISTORY OR TRADITIONS, overturn all of them and leave everything to the States. It will become a hodge-podge of laws and regulations, a veritable nightmare of navigation, a chaotic mess of a country. It will turn the US into the Dis-United States of America, the Fragmented States of America, the Backward States of America.

We have become a joke of a nation.      

My Thoughts on Christopher Columbus Statues

I received an email today asking me, as an Italian-American to sign a petition about preserving statues of Christopher Columbus which are being removed from various locations because they are reminders of the oppression and genocide against Indigenous Peoples of America.

This was my response:

As a 72 year old proud descendant of Italian immigrants (all four of my grandparents came from Southern Italy) and as one who daily celebrates my culture with food and music and even with how I plant my garden, I am not inclined to expend much energy, emotional or physical, in defending Christopher Columbus or statues of him.


Yes, he is a historical figure whose life and work served prominently in the story of the Americas. But I, for one, am not ready to canonize him as some sort of Italian "saint". I don't particularly need any heroes or saints other than my brave grandparents who also sailed the Atlantic in search of a new land.


I now live in New Mexico where the tensions between Indigenous Peoples, the descendants of the Spanish settlers, immigrants and descendents of Mexican descent, the "Anglos" and just about everyone else are sometimes very obvious and easily ignitable. 

So, if a statue serves, rightly or not, as a reminder of genocide, enslavement and suffering then it is not worth fighting to keep it in any prominent place, regardless of the ethnicity of the person so cast in bronze or stone. Some revered book has warned us against raising up idols and graven images.


My grandmother used to tell me the story about my grandfather who worked in a factory along side individuals of many other ethnic groups. One day after work he invited a co-worker home for a glass of wine. He and his black friend sat and chatted and drank wine together. 

After his friend left, my grandmother, took the glass that the black fellow drank from and threw it into the trash, because, well, it was "dirty". 

My grandfather scolded her, "What-a you do that-a for? He's a man-a just-a like-a me." He took the glass out of the trash and said, "You wash-a this, just a like-a mine." 

And grandma understood and took the lesson to heart. (And passed that on to me.) They owned a six tenement building and during the depression they not only didn't collect rent, but grandma fed their tenants until her own family lost the house to the bank. These are the values I was taught and believed all Italian-Americans held sacred.


As an Italian-American, what DOES embarrass me and fill me with shame are those Americans with Italian surnames who are a disgrace to our ancestry and to the values which I believed we shared. Values such as taking care of the less fortunate, being truthful, holding learning, education, medicine and science in high regard, being of service to society without regard to personal reward. 

But so many have drifted away from those core values and chosen instead to serve an ideology of superiority and privilege. Or should I say, serve the devil?  (https://lareviewofbooks.org/article/the-paesano-of-shame-trumps-italian-american-consiglieres/)
and  (https://italicsmag.com/2020/10/28/donald-trump-and-his-italian-american-supporters/)


We so quickly forget that our Italian ancestors were considered "darkies" and worse, by white America. And that we as an ethnic group had to earn our white privilege. 

So now, having become white, do we now also become comfortably racist? (https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2019/10/12/opinion/columbus-day-italian-american-racism.html) 

And does our worship of Columbus become, rather than a badge of honor, a symbol of divisiveness? 

Yes, we are proud of our Italian heritage. (Oh but there was a time when even Northern Italians despised and looked down upon those dark, Southern Italians - remember, Christ Stopped at Eboli).

But we are AMERICANS first. Let us not allow a few statues to get in the way of that.

Time for a New Diet...NO! WAY!

 Now that you-know-who is out of Washington and the news is not a matter of what new atrocity has been perpetrated by the Commander in Chief....and I can relax and pursue my food hobby....

I can now watch more FOOD and COOKING VIDEOS on Youtube.

Many of you may know that cooking is my main hobby, next to eating, that is. And I have been doing the Mediterranean diet for years. 

 

Lasagne like Mom used to make

The problem is that we, Leon and I, eat way too much of the Mediterranean diet (and unfortunately, New Mexico is not known for fresh seafood, so we probably eat too much meat.) And also too much in the sweets department... muffins, cookies, danish...oh, you say Denmark is not in the Mediterranean? Oh well...

We do eat lots of veggies - tons of broccoli, cauliflower, eggplant, mushrooms, kale, cabbage, chard, escarole, celery, carrots, onions and of course a major staple, garlic.

And we eat plenty of pasta, homemade tomato sauce, homemade bread, homemade pizza, and cheese, preferably parmigiano reggiano, mozzarella and provolone, as well as muenster, cheddar, etc.

Well, back to the world of YouTube where there are all kinds of Doctors and Nutritionists and Quacks touting the healthiest diets that will cure every ailment and make you lose pounds and regain your youth and make you wealthy or whatever. Among them are several that espouse the Keto Diet. 

I will freely admit that I've never actually WATCHED any Keto Diet videos. Just the thought makes me ill. I do not claim to understand the "science" behind Keto, nor am I inclined to research it. All I really know is that in the Keto Diet, Carbs are poison. 

And as the Italian proverb goes, "Un giorno senza pasta/vino/qualcosa e come una giornata senza sole." "A day without pasta/wine/whatever is like a day without sunshine."

So I came across this cute video by a cute couple, Ava (a native Italian) and Harper (her cute American husband) who live in Maine and do a series of cooking and food videos some of which compare foods from both sides of the Atlantic. And some in which Ava is introduced to American foods, usually ending with severe critiques.

If you are into Italian cooking as I am you may find some of their cooking themed videos delicious.

In this one Harper is half-halfheartedly trying to get Ava to try the Keto Diet.

And here's another video all about Eggplants - Melanzane:

This Old Scrooge Thanks You

Just a short note to my readers: I got up this morning and was going to delete the long rant about my Christmas conflicts and inadequacies before anyone actually had a chance to read them. But alas, the cat was out of the bag so to speak and there were already comments from you all. 

So I just want to thank you for visiting and for the support your comments have provided. I don't know what gets into me at Christmas. Perhaps there are some repressed feelings or memories that come to the surface...but whatever.

I want to let you guys know that I enjoy visiting your blogs even if I don't always comment...sometimes I get so caught up just reading blogs and news items that the hours pass and I've not done anything away from the screen...

Enjoy your Holiday. Stay safe, stay well, and lets hope for better things in the New Year. I hope we can all get through to January 20th without further disasters. 

Tacky But Bright

The Yucca Lit Up

Our Rainbow Luminarias/Farolitos

 

Happy Holidays....Confessions of a Conflicted Scrooge

Leon and I want to wish you all a very Merry, Happy, Healthy and Blessed Christmas…or Hanukkah, or New Year… 

In this Strange and Unpredictable and often Bewildering Time, 

Even Christmas is not quite what it used to be. 

Very likely there will be no visitors coming or going, sharing drinks or coffee or cookies. 

 

I may be wrong about the no crowded department stores, no large family gatherings, no traveling to relatives for dinner, no packed Midnight Masses. At least for us that is the case.

For some, celebrating the Season with More and Brighter Decorations, More Lights and Ribbons and Bows will be an antidote to many long and stressful months.

    [For others of us, a low-key Holiday is more in keeping with our personalities or personal values. Leon decorated with lights outside; me, I've been cooking and baking but we have little in the way of decking the halls indoors. A Poinsettia and cards that others sent us. A Christmas table runner that my sister-in-law made. We gave her all our tree ornaments when we moved here, so no tree.

 

     Confession: I am not sending cards this season. I usually find it a chore, more stressful than satisfying. I used to enjoy sending cards, buying little gifts and stocking-stuffers and wrapping boxes and making bows. Now, not so much. Maybe it's age. Maybe it's just an existential feeling of performing empty rituals.

 

    Christmas always entails conflicting emotions for me. I grew up Italian Catholic or Catholic Italian, I'm not sure which, but the religious aspect of Christmas was always of great importance - Midnight Mass and all. And to be brief, while over the years I've been marginalized and rejected by my Catholic church and less inclined to embrace any religion, I find the the commercial, non-religious aspect of Christmas to be hypocritical. 

 

    Add to that the fact that I am the worst "consumer" you may ever meet and a horrible gift-giver, and even worse gift-receiver, I find the holiday to be most unpleasant. I cannot ever decide on a gift, and when I do, I am always doubting my choice: they'll think it's stupid, stingy, cheap, not thoughtful. It's ridiculous to spend that kind of money on THAT. So, yes, it's stingy. I'll talk myself out of whatever choice I make, time runs out and I get very anxious. I really hate Christmas. Maybe it's the anxiety that I find too difficult to tolerate. When I receive a gift, my thought is "why did they spend so much money, why did they get me more junk I don't need, dust collectors, stuff that will go in a closet or the garage, or to Goodwill. What will I do with this? And why am I so stingy and unwilling to go out of my way?" And then I feel guilty for not doing anything, not doing enough, not doing more, not having the "spirit".

 

     More stressful than satisfying.

 

     If I celebrate the Holiday at all it tends to be about the food...the Italian in me is stronger than the Catholic in me. I spend hours making cookies, bread dough, fish, meatballs, ragu, lasagna. If I give away cookies, I never give enough. When others give us cookies, they give twice or three times as much. I can't seem to get the ritual right. I'm so stingy. Makes me feel anxious and bad. I really hate Christmas. More stressful than satisfying.]

 

 

So....Whichever way you choose to Observe the Feast Day, the Holiday, the New Year, We wish You and Your Loved Ones, Joy and Peace and Love. 

 

Buon Natale, Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, 

Feliz Natal, Joyeux Noel

Happy Hanukkah

 

Happy New Year (we can only Hope!)

And I would like to share with you two favorite Italian/Catholic Christmas/Seasonal songs:

 Tu Scendi Dalle Stelle (Luciano Pavarotti) and Ave Maria (Il Volo). (Click the links...Some of you may especially enjoy the Video of the Italian Trio, Il Volo)

 

 

 

My Excitement for THIS Week

 I've never been crazy about Jello. Grandma would make it occasionally in the summer and freeze it in old jelly glasses. It was a treat on a hot day.

But now I never make Jello. Except on special occasions every three to seven years. And then, it must never be red Jello. Has to be yellow or green. 

Had to make some for dinner on Sunday. Because today I had my colonoscopy. If anything has ruined Jello (and it wasn't that great to begin with) is its association with a colonoscopy prep. 

Just the thought of Jello makes me gag.

.

via GIPHY

via GIPHY

Another thing I haven't had in two or three years is a Dunkin' Donut. Not that I don't like them, but they are pretty pricey for about a million calories of pure sugar and carbs.

But, hey, I got through the colonoscopy this morning and told Leon that because we could not go to a restaurant for breakfast, I wanted a breakfast sandwich and a couple of donuts.

Oh, the bacon, egg and cheese on a croissant was good, but devouring that jelly donut and the apple fritter was almost orgasmic.

 

Are we Now Being Asked to Feel for the GOP and the Rabid Supporters of 45?

I am by nature an empathetic person. 

But forgive me if I don't empathize with the supporters and enablers of evil and one so-called-president of the USA who nearly destroyed our democracy and every facet of our government. (And godforbid he may not be done with that yet.)

There is a qualitative, substantial, moral difference between us Biden/Harris supporters and those who supported this sorry excuse for a 45th president. The current occupant of the Oval Office has abused the country, the constitution and the citizens of the USA. And when I say abused, I mean that I, and many others, have experienced what can only be described as emotional and psychological abuse by virtue of his behavior and policies. Some have been victims of physical violence as well - assault, police brutality, children in cages.

Yes, we were devastated by Clinton's loss in 2016 after playing by all the rules and having an agenda that put people first. But the GOP has employed deception, dirty tricks, intimidation, power wielding, and other underhanded methods to advance an agenda of racism, plutocracy, religious fundamentalism, anti-LGBTQ activities, and outright hate. 

The rabid, in-your-face Cultists have intimidated voters, threatened peaceful protestors, ambushed a Biden/Harris campaign bus, and committed atrocities on an almost daily basis. Their acts have been documented and many are on video. In contrast their many allegations of wrongdoing on the part of Democrats are made-up internet conspiracy theories without foundation in fact. 

To all the republican "nice guys" I say: "These are your compatriots, the GOP platform and agenda is your dogma. You cannot support a man, an agenda, a party that is so thoroughly racist, anti-LGBT, theocratic and plutocratic and at the same time ask for empathy from your progressive, "socialist" and liberal neighbors."

And now the petty "leader" and his GOP congresspersons are doing everything they can get away with to undermine further the faith in the democratic system, delay funding for a peaceful transition, and vowing to thwart the Biden/Harris Administration.

Empathy is for those without culpability.

So NO, I cannot empathize.

Rambling Thoughts and Loose Ends

I don't post here very often anymore. Perhaps it's because I don't have a lot to say about anything...at least nothing that anyone would find interesting.

Sure, I could post photos of every loaf of bread I bake or the the King Cake and jambalaya from Tuesday's dinner or the stuffed peppers and stuffed eggplant that I made two weeks ago or pics of Benni, the Dog doing dog things.

Our Mardi Gras was not as Elegant at Russ' and MP's

A View of Cochiti Lake

We took a day trip to Los Alamos (it's only 17 miles from Cochiti if you're a crow, but it's 68 miles (1 hour, 15 minutes) via Santa Fe or 110 miles (2 hour,s 20 minutes via Jemez Springs). The old route via an unimproved and slightly scary Dome Road, was 36 miles but took about 1 hour and 30  minutes).

In other words you can't get there from here (easily).

We stopped at the nearby Valles Caldera - the remnant of an ancient volcano. At over 11,000 feet it has it's own climate.

Moisture on the windshield caused the effect

In Los Alamos Smith's (Kroger's) Supermarket is on steroids. Competing with WalMart, but classier. It has a Pub with Beer on Tap if you aren't interested in shopping with the hubby.

And a whole section for clothing

Back in Santa Fe, near the Frank Ortiz Dog Park is a plaque commemorating those Japanese Americans who were interred in a camp there during World War II. Not many people know that Japanese-Americans were transported to this Santa Fe location and imprisoned for being of Japanese ancestry out of the fear and bigotry that grew out of the attack on Pearl Harbor.

Italian class was going well, so long as we were focused on conversation...I did live in Rome for nine months when I was a Junior in college, a lifetime ago, so started this class with a little knowledge...but when we started to conjugate verbs I got so confused.

I can use the same verbs in various tenses in conversation, but when asked to just conjugate them out of context...that is an exercise in frustration. I'll have one more class next week and then I'll be on my own...unless there will be another "more advanced" class.

Had my annual physical recently and as usual it involved some referrals for updated bloodwork (my bad cholesterol is good and my good cholesterol isn't so good and my triglycerides are high which is status quo for me).

Also got a referral for a ultrasound of my bladder and prostrate (because I mentioned frequent bathroom trips at night).

One of the "nice things about getting older" is I am getting to visit the various medical facilities and clinics in Santa Fe!

Well, the "prep" involved drinking 32 ounces of water 1 hour before the test, which I did. I drove into town and walked into the testing facility unable to hold it any longer. I told the receptionist that I HAD to use the restroom.
"OK," she said, "but just go a little."
"Impossible," I said.

When I was done she gave me two more glasses of water and by the time I was called in for the ultrasound I was at the bursting point again.

Thankfully the "full bladder" test was over within minutes; After a a restroom break I got the "empty bladder" exam. (all the tests came back OK).

But what I got in the mail this week was enlightening. A bill/statement.

Amount charged $ 389.00
Adjustment           $ 342.30
Insurance Paid    $   26.17
Patient Balance     $   20.53

So this is with a Medicare Advantage Plan. The "adjustment" is what the plan has brokered with the provider to just deduct from the bill. So does the provider just eat the $342 or is the charge just an arbitrary, inflated number to make it look like I'm getting a bargain?

If the charge is legit, the service provider is losing a lot of money. People with no insurance presumably pay the full price...and they are subsidizing Medicare/Medicare Advantage.

And just an added level of complexity, there are maybe 10 different Medicare "Supplement" plans offered by each private insurance company that come with a monthly premium that is NOT cheap.

Just saying..."Medicare for All" may not be what it promises to be.