I have to say that our life here in New Mexico has been quite good overall. We have been very fortunate.
But there are times when I get to feeling down, without purpose, unmotivated, joyless. I have been fighting depression for a while, trying to keep a positive outlook, trying to find some pleasure in walking with neighbors and our pack of dogs, baking bread, making pasta fatta in casa, cooking and learning Italian on YouTube and reading blogs.
It's wearing thin.
Yeah…feeling down lately…like there is nothing I want to do, no place I want to go, no one I want to see…
...so tired, exhausted, emotionally drained. I think a lot of it has to do with the four years of the despicable narcissist who still will not just go away, (like post traumatic stress syndrome?)...the pandemic which will not just go away (like a miracle, it was supposed to disappear!!!!)
Benni, (the dog) is having neurological problems with controlling his hind quarters, (he stumbles sometimes and can no longer "leap" into the car) and occasionally his bowels…which is not yet a bad problem but will get worse…
...there has been no rain here.
I am sick of juniper trees
and desert weeds and dirt and dust and ugly rock salad everywhere…our lake has been closed due to Covid so we can’t even take a walk down by the lake…
Leon wants to go check out a camper in Wyoming…I dread the thought of travel during the epidemic, restaurants, motels, dog poop….so I think we won’t be going…
...my life is ordering groceries, curb side pick-up, cooking, eating, cleaning up, laundry….a woman’s work is never done…walking the dog…putzing in the yard…
So, to all of you more steady and courageous souls, I hope you’re feeling a whole lot better than I am today...
6 comments:
Sending you a big hug, Frank. I hope your serotonin starts to kick back in soon.
do you have a fave hobby to pursue? I hear ya about day after life sucking day monotony. but uncle joe and aunt kamala are in da house! I have SAD, which is worse during feb-mar.
I think many people are suffering Post _____ Stress Disorder, and when packaged with COVID and lockdowns and masks and distancing, it becomes too much. But I am seeing changes, and so I am feeling better myself and sending you positive thoughts to light the way.
Letting you know you're not alone. It has been a very, very, excruciatingly long year.
I'm sorry you are feeling down and so sorry to her about the issues with your sweet Benni. It has been one long horrible year - but we're still alive, we can do this!
This too shall pass, Frank. I'm just happy to have lights and heat and plenty of running water here. And temps above 40! Spring is just around the corner . . .
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