When I emailed a copy of my post on the Easter Vigil to some family and friends, I imagined that by hitting the send button, it changed from being a shared personal reflection to being a self-rightous sermon though the words were identical. I'm afraid this says more about me than the post itself did. I lay awake in bed for hours last night feeling badly about having sent the email. It was an inappropriate Easter greeting.
But it is interesting that the few replies I've received here and through email fall into two categories. First are those who tell me it was well said, who more or less share the sentiments; second, those who offer some form of pity - who focus only on what they perceive as my deep pain and offer their love and prayers for me as though I were ill or a long-suffering martyr or something. Just interesting.
I have such self-doubt and anxiety whenever I express strong views, or challenge authority or speak up to others. Whether here in this Blog or in a letter to the editor, or god forbid face to face with someone whose views I find offensive or oppressive. The heart races, the adrenaline rushes, fear rears its head and my confidence waivers. "Who am I to expound on such matters? They will come back at me and rip me to shreds. It will not be pretty."
Well, enough said. Life goes on.