Am I an Atheist?

 I recently posted the video of Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood singing John Lennon's Imagine at Jimmy Carter's funeral. In one of the comments the song was referred to as the "atheist anthem" (I'd never heard that before) and it got me thinking. Am I really an atheist?

First of all I find the song Imagine to be deeply meaningful and even spiritual. And yes, I am "a-religious", if not entirely "anti-religious" although I can find plenty of reasons to be anti-religion. I probably have a deeper understanding and appreciation of religion, particularly Catholicism, than most who profess to be anti-religion and that, I think, gives my opinion some authority.

As for the "theos" or the "theoí" - there is little I can add to the millennia of preponderance on the topic. I've said before that I don't necessarily not believe in the same god that many who call themselves atheist don't believe in or for the same reasons. My disbelief or non-belief is more sophisticated than not believing in the god that a six-year old believes is watching them while they steal a piece of candy at the 7-11.

But with that said, what I will offer is a re-post of something that appeared on this blog back in December, 2011. It was my Christmas entry (I did not do one this 2024 holiday season as I have less and less to say on this platform and fewer to say it to.) Anyhow, for what it's worth:

Saturday, December 24, 2011

I Can Say Nothing Of God Except...

Last year my sister, who is a Sister of Mercy, sent me a prayer she had written about the things and people in her life that gave meaning to the celebration of Christmas.

Each line began with the words, "I can say nothing of God except..."

This prayer reminds us, whether theist, atheist or agnostic, that we can really say little meaningful about God.  That perhaps our belief in God's existence is about as meaningful as another's belief in God's Non-existence. The fact that so many people today claim to know "God", the "will of God" or who or what or which country has "God's favor", is, if nothing else, awfully self-righteous and arrogant.

Perhaps we can say nothing of god except ... what is available to us in our own unique, concrete, quotidian experience. This year I offer my version of my sister's prayer:

I Can Say Nothing of God Except... (c 2019, edited 2025)

I can say nothing of God except the serenity of a walk in the woods on a clear December morning

I can say nothing of God except the surprise that the Bird of Paradise gave me when, after fifteen years, it bloomed in the sun room one February

I can say nothing of God except skiing down a mountain on a sunny winter day

I can say nothing of God except the good food we have to eat and share with whoever enters our home

I can say nothing of God except the seniors who think it is a miracle to make digital photos appear on the computer screen

I can say nothing of God except the shared company of long-time friends

I can say nothing of God except airplanes have taken me to fascinating places

I can say nothing of God except the memory of my mom and grandma and aunts makes me happy when I make manicotti or escarole with beans or cookies

I can say nothing of God except the paintings on the wall that my dad made when he was seventeen

I can say nothing of God except walking up to the rim of the Grand Canyon very early one morning and being speechless for fifteen minutes while my tears flowed spontaneously

I can say nothing of God except sleeping on the beach while listening to Sergio Mendes

I can say nothing of God except an old Valentine from my honey I came across while cleaning drawers

I can say nothing of God except the vastness of the sea and a sailboat against blue sky

I can say nothing of God except the touch of, and touching another man 

I can say nothing of God except I am sitting in the living room with the man I love while the dog sleeps on the couch and Christmas music plays softly

 

One More Netflix MUST SEE - Five Star Movie

Hubs and I just watched a wonderful movie on Netflix this afternoon. This is a movie I think every American should see, should be required viewing for every politician, every congressperson and all military personnel. 

This made me aware of the fact that our country is so close to going backwards while it has barely stepped forwards.

Six Triple Eight has left me practically speechless. It brought tears to my eyes more than once, more than twice, practically throughout the movie. Superb acting throughout. Excellent screen play, directing and filming. Kerry Washington and a great supporting cast.

If you watch anything on Netflix, put SIX TRIPLE EIGHT at the top of your list.

Some Wintertime Netflix Pics and Network TV

I started this post Tuesday but then I wasn't feeling well....Except for aches and pains that come with age, I haven't had so much as a cold or flu since 2019.  But my luck ran out (or I let my guard down) and tested positive for COVID yesterday after one really miserable night. Leon and I were very careful when traveling a month ago and always wore masks in the airports and on the plane. But I was getting over confident back here in New Mexico...even then I can't figure where I picked this up...an uncrowded restaurant? the grocery store? Friends? I was able to get the Paxlovid Rx yesterday and I am feeling tolerably miserable today.

And I just want to share this before getting to the main topic of my post. One of my favorite songs of all times performed by Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood at President Carter's funeral. How fitting and appropriate.

 

Anyhow here are a few suggestions for entertainment on cold winter evenings. All are on Netflix except Brilliant Minds on NBC network TV. I think some full seasons or episodes can be seen on YouTube.

KAOS - A very creative retelling of Greek mythology, set in modern, contemporary times. Defying Zeus is a theme here. The serious story plots are interspersed with macabre humor. No one seems able to escape their "prophesy" or their fate. The gods communicate with land line phones, the Furies ride motorcycles. If you know something about Greek mythology, you may find KAOS entertaining.

 

No Good Deed - House for Sale with secrets. The first few episodes are a bit slow and you're kind of like "Where is this going?" But it gets better.

 Man on the Inside - A little contrived but entertaining. No violence.

 

 The Diplomat - Suspenseful, good acting, international relations and political intrigue.

The Resident - Has to be one of the all time addictive medical soap operas. Blood gushing everywhere. Some very unlikely scenarios - like surgeons staffing the ER and preposterous medical procedures. Did I mention blood gushing everywhere and that it's addictive? We questioned our taste and sanity but couldn't stop watching. Interesting characters. Some socially redeeming story lines around serious issues.

White Collar - Convicted felon and white collar criminal Neil Caffrey (Matt Bomer) works with the FBI to catch other white collar criminals. The first few seasons are good but I kind of lost interest after a while.

 

Lincoln Lawyer - Some interesting story lines and good acting. Legal stuff that lawyers do (on TV). The trailer is not a very good sample:

 

 The Sinner  - I would call it a kind of dark investigative/mystery series. The first episode, from what I recall was a bit difficult to follow.

 

 Made in Italy - A "feel good" movie with nice scenery of the Tuscany region of Italy. I think the story has been done in various versions before.

Dark Winds - Intriguing, disturbing western native American crime series set in the 70s. The scenery is what I see every day so maybe that's part of what I find disturbing.

 

Network TV - Brilliant Minds - Somewhat eccentric Dr Wolf (Zachary Quinto) plays a gay doctor who along with his exceptional team of doctors diagnose and treat mysterious diseases and conditions with exceptional skill and sensitivity. Episode 7 was excellent. Hubby and I both cried.

 

 

Unfrosted - Don't waste your time. Competition between Kellogg and Post Cereal over Poptarts. Silly. Stupid.  Every possible cliche from the 50s and 60s. I fell asleep.

Some Past Recommendations:

I Care A Lot

Turn of the Tide

Nuovo Olimpo

Inventing Anna

I Learned Somethings I Didn't Know About Italians and Their Relationship With the Catholic Church

 I didn't know the history of the Italian Unification vis-a-vis Rome and the Vatican. I did have a strong sense of both the secularization of Italy and it's underlying Catholic morality and this video is quite informative about these complex issues. 

Even though I'm American-Italian and over 70, I relate to the group of those who have become secularized.

My Holiday E-mail

Greetings to You and Your Loved Ones:

Just a note to wish you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Season’s Greetings, Happy New Year, Winter Solstice    ….and to let you know that even though we did not send out cards this year, Leon and I are alive and well (enough). We Thank you for your Cards and Holiday Wishes.

AGE catching up to me, Leon’s busy WORK schedule, and the general STATE of AFFAIRS, has made us both less inclined to engage in the HOLIDAY RITUALS…so we are having a very minimalist Christmas this year.  Even many of those traditional cookies and foods are missing from our house! (we are enjoying other people’s cookies however) We’ve made donations to the homeless shelter, LGBTQ non-profits and other charitable causes in lieu of gifts. Much less stressful and more in keeping with the Spirit of the Season.

The often mindless frenzy of the season as promoted by commercialism has always struck me as rather profane and a source of existential angst. I often find even the expectations based on religious or cultural tradition to be sometimes a source of stress and guilt rather than a source of joy and peace.

But I’ve always been a outlier, a reluctant rebel, a contrarian, a sceptic, proudly gay and mostly “woke.” And perhaps in my OLD AGE I am beginning to own those parts of me along with the aches and pains. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am, we are, Leon and I, also so GRATEFUL for all that we have: we are not lacking any necessities (there's at least one too many vehicles in the driveway), we have great FRIENDS and RELATIVES (you among them), wonderful MEMORIES (Leon has more memories than I do!) and just our being together, and, here in New Mexico lots of SUNNY DAYS (although we had a freak snow before Thanksgiving - 12 inches - see photo above) .

In all of that we find our JOY and PEACE.

Wishing JOY and PEACE to You, too.

While this missive is mostly “FRANK” 

“LEON” sends his LOVE as well.

Frank and Leon

P.S. I do not have email addresses for every family member or friend. Please pass on our Greetings to your loved ones and friends.

Baking Day

I must have had a few good hours of sleep last night because I was industrious today.

I made a double batch of Jim's Apple Muffins today and Italian Bread.

Apple muffins: 

    1 1/2 cups grated (McIntosh) apples 

Mix together:

    1 egg 

    1/2 cup milk 

    1/4 cup Crisco (or canola) oil  

Add the above to 

    1 1/2 cups flour

    1 cup sugar (I use 3/4 cup)

    2 tsp. baking powder

    1/2 tsp. salt

    1/2 tsp cinnamon (and a dash of pumpkin spice)

Mix until all is moist and put into 12 large muffin tins (or 2 small loaf pans)

Topping: 1/3 cup chopped walnuts, 1/3 cup sugar

Sprinkle topping on each muffin before baking

Bake at 400 F for 25 to 30 minutes (a bit longer for loaf pans)

 

 

And then there's the bread. Because there is no good Italian bread in New Mexico. So I have to make my own at least every two weeks.

 

Water, yeast, sugar, salt, flour.  

 

It's all the same.... but oh so different depending on hydration (proportion of flour to water), rise time, oven temperature, steam. This was one of my best crusty, light texture breads yet. High hydration. I think it was about 70% or slightly higher. A very soft sticky dough. Like focaccia or ciabotta dough. 

Leon and I already ate half a loaf.

One Last Thing

 Click to enlarge

Lots of Rocks and Vanished Memories

 Whenever we have guests from out of state we like to take them to see Leon's "Office" in the New Mexico wilderness. We spent the day on Saturday wandering around BLM land in the high desert. Lots of Rocks. Some scenes may look familiar as I've posted similar photos before.

 

Cactus growing in the rock crevices

This is the area Leon calls "Mars" but perhaps "Moon" would also describe the terrain.

 

Leon overseeing his territory.

Later that evening we dragged out some old VCR video tapes that we hadn't looked at since they were filmed in 1993. 

We were on a trip to California to visit a friend Tommy and as the movie unfolded with views of the California coast Leon and I were both puzzled by our complete lack of recognition of what we were seeing. 

Neither of us recognized the location, the buildings, the scenery, or the entire experience itself.

I swore that I was not actually there, that Leon must have gone alone...but he didn't recall any of the scenes depicted in the video either... until I heard my voice on the tape and soon enough, my own image!

How is it possible that such a trip that we took together in 1993 has been erased from our memory? 

We did recall some of the events that occurred later in the video, but without the details that we were seeing. 

We did remember that we rented a car in California and drove to Arizona and the Grand Canyon. I will not forget my experience of seeing the Grand Canyon early in the morning just after sunrise before any crowds had arrived.

But so much of the rest of the trip...Vanishing memories...scary. 

Stills from the video on our TV:

Me

Leon

Leon

Me

Me

10th Anniversary and Growing Old Un-Gracefully

  Today is Leon's and my Tenth Wedding Anniversary though it's been 36 years we've been together. 

I am eternally grateful for having met and wed such a kind, loving and devoted man with whom I've spent almost half my life.  I am a moody, crabby, anxious, introverted old guy with new aches and pains, hearing aids, knee and joint issues and a back ache. And hubby still puts up with me.

I just had cataract surgery on my right eye (the left eye was done three weeks ago) and I was not prepared for the the fact that I can see better for distance, but cannot see close without reading glasses. 

I got a pair of readers at the pharmacy but they are not quite right...And that right now is a royal pain in the ass because what I need until I get a new prescription (which I cannot do for at least 4-6 weeks) is a pair of bifocal reading glasses which are nowhere to be found in these parts but have to be ordered on line....

This has made me irritable and cranky. I am living up to my moniker "Cranky Franky" for sure...and not disposed to celebrate our Anniversary in style.

But it's early in the day so I'll get over it before Leon gets home from work. 

I think we will have dinner at home this evening and maybe go out to a restaurant this weekend to celebrate a bit more formally. 

 

The early years:

Good Morning

Leon and I voted yesterday morning. Here's a couple of photos I took when we got out of the polling place. I'd like to think it was a good omen but I don't believe in omens.

 The view from higher ground.

October 11, 1987 - Thirty-seven Years Ago - The Second National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights

Just a reminder to all of you that we in the LGBTQ community have had a long history of fighting for our right to be who we are and to express our sexuality and to love who we want to love.  

And a further reminder that our rights are not guaranteed forever, because, if those espousing the draconian vision of the 2025 Agenda get their way, we may lose everything we've gained and then some.

The Second National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights was a massive political rally in Washington, D.C. on October 11, 1987. The movement was reaching its zenith in the 80s and  AIDS was a major influence in our becoming more visible, and out, and proud. 

Lesbian and Gay Rights because the Bi and Trans folks were not yet being specifically acknowledged and the term Queer was still an insult. No one even contemplated a "plus".

Approximately 750,000 people took part in the march and other events including a civil disobedience action in front of the Supreme Court.

The 1987 March on Washington stands as an important part of LGBTQ history. 

 I was there with a group from Hartford, CT.

Hector*,  Me, Richard, Robin, ?, Joe, ?
   * Hector was my co-worker at the CT Dept of Health AIDS Program. He died of HIV/AIDS

Remembering the March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Civil Rights: a song by Ten Percent Review:

 

The focus of the 1987 National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights was to demand our civil rights and to protest the government's lack of concern for HIV/AIDS.

The AIDS Quilt was displayed for the first time on the National Mall in Washington, D.C., during the weekend event.

It covered a space larger than a football field and included 1,920 panels.

I'm not absolutely sure if this picture was taken at the 1987 March in Washington, but I think it was. It was a time before digital cameras and iPhones. Can you imagine?

The Hidden Brain Podcast: The Yin and Yang of Political Sides (Or Why Dems are Happy and Repubs are Sour)

 

This podcast that I heard this morning in NPR is probably the best explanation I've heard about the psychology underlying the political divide. The beginning is a more genera discussion...but...listen to the end where Danna Young talks about politics in more depth. 

 I don't know if this link will work (Hidden Brain may require a subscription but I was able to listen for free)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sitting-with-uncertainty/id1028908750?i=1000671334611

A Break From The Desert