United Nations' Committee on Rights of the Child Scathing Report on the Vatican and Catholic Church

I will not comment here; the excerpts speak for themselves, I think.

Here are some excerpts (which means they are taken out of the document and are not entirely "in context" -  follow the link to read the entire document):

United Nations

Convention on the Rights of the Child

Committee on the Rights of the Child 

Concluding observations on the second periodic report of the Holy See

While also noting as positive the progressive statement delivered in July 2013 by Pope Francis, the Committee is concerned about the Holy See’s past statements and declarations on homosexuality which contribute to the social stigmatization of and violence against lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender adolescents and children raised by same sex couples.

The Committee also urges the Holy See to make full use of its moral authority to condemn all forms of harassment, discrimination or violence against children based on their sexual orientation or the sexual orientation of their parents and to support efforts at international level for the decriminalisation of homosexuality.

The Committee urges the Holy See to adopt a rights-based approach to address discrimination between girls and boys and refrain from using terminology that could challenge equality between girls and boys. The Committee also urges the Holy See to take active measures to remove from Catholic schools textbooks all gender stereotyping which may limit the development of the talents and abilities of boys and girls and undermine their educational and life opportunities.

The Committee is particularly concerned that in dealing with allegations of child sexual abuse, the Holy See has consistently placed the preservation of the reputation of the Church and the protection of the perpetrators above children’s best interests, as observed by several national commissions of inquiry.

The Committee nevertheless expresses its deepest concern about child sexual abuse committed by members of the Catholic churches who operate under the authority of the Holy See, with clerics having been involved in the sexual abuse of tens of thousands of children worldwide. The Committee is gravely concerned that the Holy See has not acknowledged the extent of the crimes committed, has not taken the necessary measures to address cases of child sexual abuse and to protect children, and has adopted policies and practices which have led to the continuation of the abuse by and the impunity of the perpetrators.

Child sexual abuse, when addressed, has been dealt with as grave delicts against the moral through confidential proceedings providing for disciplinary measures which have allowed the vast majority of abusers and almost all those who concealed child sexual abuse to escape judicial proceedings in States where abuses were committed;

Immediately remove all known and suspected child sexual abusers from assignment and refer the matter to the relevant law enforcement authorities for investigation and prosecution purposes;

Amend Canon Law in order for child sexual abuse to be considered as crimes and not as “delicts against the moral” and repeal all provisions which may impose an obligation of silence on the victims and on all those that become aware of such crimes;

The Committee welcomes the indication that the Holy See pays particular attention to promoting the dignity of women and girls. However, given the extent and the devastating impact of domestic violence on children and the fact that domestic violence often has a gender component, the Committee is seriously concerned that during the 2013 Commission on the Status of Women, the Holy See objected to a draft final text proposing that religion, custom or tradition should not serve as an excuse for States to evade their obligations to protect women and girls from violence.

The Committee recommends that the Holy See ensure that Canon Law provisions recognise the diversity of family settings and do not discriminate children based on the type of family they live in.

The Committee urges the Holy See to properly investigate all allegations of children and adolescents being separated from their families by means of psychological manipulation and ensure that those responsible for manipulating adolescents be held accountable and cease their activities.

Homophobia and Oppression

Thanks to Wicked Gay Blog for this.




And an interesting additional story about America's No Promo Homo Laws - kinda like Russia.

I Need Some New Exercise Equipment

My old exercise equipment is getting a bit shabby.

Addendum, as noted in comments below:
The old snowblower crapped out yesterday so we had to shovel the entire 260 foot driveway plus the turnaround and the walkways, deck and stairs, with the yellow and green manually operated snow removal devices.

Classic Verbal Gay-bashing by Hetero Bully Grimm.

 I must say that when I first heard the story about NY Congressman Grimm's threatening statements to NY1 reporter Michael Scotto, I thought to myself and said out loud to Leon, "He sounds exactly like he's a big macho heterosexual bully trying to intimidate a gay guy."

I also said, "Every news reporter should be outraged that one of their colleagues was treated that way."

 Read more here

Now, when I said that, I had no idea that the reporter, Scotto, is in fact gay. Just that in comparison to bully Grimm he looked like a mild-mannered chap, considerably less intimidating and probably in Grimm's view, an easy target.

I also thought that as a reporter, Scotto was quite gutsy to ask Grimm about the campaign contributions issue. After all, that's what reporters do, and the good ones are gutsy, trying to get the scoop on a story. Michael Scotto was merely doing his job.

Despite what Scotto and his colleagues say about Grimm's threats not being gay-bashing, I can only say, as a gay man, these are the kinds of things we have heard before - and always aimed at someone who is gay or perceived to be gay - and always coming from some macho, misogynistic, heterosexual homophobe of a male type asshole.

Despite what the straight men who offer their opinions might think - straight men RARELY IF EVER GET IT. They say, "well that's just how men talk to other men, other straight men, when they get angry."  That misses the point. The language and the bullying is in its essence, homo-hating. It equates being "man enough" with being able to intimidate, fight, hurt, maim and kill the weaker male. The basis of this is the same as what underlies hate crimes against gays.

The fact that it rings so true - the posturing, the threats, the language are classic hetero bullying tactics - makes it definitely a hate act, in my opinion.

What do you guys think?

More Closet Pics - Day Three

OK, so it ain't pretty. It's "basementy" - like for a basement.

Couldn't wait to stock the shelves.

I'm all out of this beverage.

But there's wine.

So see, with light switches, telephone, garage door opener and electric outlet, this wasn't just a measure and cut project. And don't forget, this materials are salvaged, found, left over, re-use. Like the clothes hanger rod which was an old window washing pole.

The project isn't quite finished. There is some trim to add and we're trying to decide whether to paint it. I think Leon should "wall paper" with his collection of old license plates.

I Need Subtitles for Life

I am not a stupid person. I went to college and even managed to get a Master's Degree.

Leon has dyslexia but is probably smarter than me in many ways.

He watches a lot of BBC TV and has no trouble understanding English. I have trouble with Downton Abbey on occasion and once even turned on the closed caption so I wouldn't miss anything.

Leon pointed out this Budweiser commercial and said "It's cute, watch it."

So I did. I said, "Yeah, it is cute. But I didn't get the story. The lady wants to adopt a puppy. The puppy went to say goodbye to the horse. Then the cute guy who had the puppies gives the puppy to the lady. The lady and the puppy drive off with the husband. Then the horses come and attack the car as they're driving off. And the puppy gets out and runs with the horses. I don't get it. The story doesn't make sense. And what are they advertising anyway?"

Leon: "You need subtitles for everything in your life."

This Old House - Carpentry Project Day Two

This could have been a project for This Old House - before it became This New MacMansion. We live in this old house and we're building some shelves and a closet next to the basement stairs.

Except for new 2x3s we are using salvaged wood and scrap - some old shelving and plywood. We're not using drywall because we want to spend as little as possible on the project. So nothing is exactly the right width or length, so lots of measuring and cutting and getting around the electricity and switches.

The shelves will be open to the stairs so I can store my canned goods, and grocery items that I stock up on when they're on sale.

We moved the propane heater to the far side of the closet and had to reinstall it. I underestimate Leon's talents and attention to detail. He ran the propane line neatly down one side and secured it with copper brackets.

The closet, more like an alcove without doors will be for coats, the recycle bin and whatever else.

And there is a cubby hole for the air compressor.

Tomorrow or the next day: walling up the project. We are hoping we have enough plywood. And that we can cut it without wasting any.

Carpentry Project Phase I

We got all the stuff we needed for this minor project at HomoDepot. Some stuff we already had or was salvaged from Leon's doing home/garage/basement clean up jobs.

So tools in hand we set out to build a closet and shelving between an existing wall and the basement stairs. We had already removed the existing wall down to the studs.

Our friend Dave came over to help with the rewiring of a couple of outlets before we started the carpentry.

On TV home makeovers they do an entire house remodel in a weekend. Issues like we have to deal with are, for them, insignificant. For example:

The basement floor is not exactly level.

The cordless drill battery dies after drilling six holes and screwing six screws.

The drill bit breaks.

The battery falls out.

The level gets misplaced.

The new switch plate gets misplaced.

That new 90 degree angle screwdriver attachment gets misplaced.

We spend lots of time looking for the above.

The plywood that it took ten minutes to get into place needs to be notched out and getting it out is more difficult than getting it in.

The power drill/screwdriver is too big to get into the available space.

Etc.

After all that, we are quite proud of our progress after day one.

On the front half here will be shelves on one side open to the basement stairway and storage below the shelving open to the garage side; then on the back half there will be a closet open to the garage side.

Tomorrow we both have a busy schedule, so we'll get back to the project as soon as we can. How do those home makeover people do it?

Grammy Awards - A Most Inspiring Moment

Just when you think hate may be winning just a little (see Huff Post), something happened at the Grammys that has to inspire hope for so many. (Unfortunately the video source has been deleted and the link is no longer accurate).



And then there's this reflection (Stranger Passing) on how far we've come.

Gay Popcorn Movies 5 - (not so gay) Marriage Italian Style (1964) "Matrimonio all'italiana"

A Netflix movie. One that is definitely NOT "TRENDING" - god that's a word I hate.

This past Saturday Leon had gone to the camper show in Boston with Dave and I was home with Benni. It was cold, damp, snowy and a rather good day for a Netflix movie. Benni doesn't care what movies we watch - he is so agreeable on that score and doesn't insist on Lassie re-runs - so it was my choice.

I was in the mood for an Italian classic - one I hadn't seen - Marriage Italian Style with Sophia Lauren and Marcello Mastroianni. The movie is in Italian (actually Neapolitan dialect) with English subtitles.

I'd seen Divorce Italian Style and Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow, many years ago and loved Sophia Loren from the first. Why are women like Sophia Loren admired by gay men so often. Is it because she is her own person and this comes across in her films?

In this movie, Sophia as Filumena, portrays a woman who is strong and determined. Even though Filumena lives in a society where women have strict, very traditional roles, she is able to transcend the confines of the culture, misogyny, and the often limiting roles of prostitute, mistress, mother and wife by turning her subservience into power.

I am reminded of the movie, Before Stonewall and what I saw as the depiction of some gay men who wore the roles they were relegated to like badges of honor. They too turned their oppression into power by proudly being themselves; and their ability to be their own person took power away from their oppressors.

Perhaps these symbols from the past still have plenty to say to us today.

A Sunny, Mild Winter Day - Midwinter Report

Winter goes on. And on. Not my favorite season. Not much is new or exciting. That's not necessarily a bad thing.

It was a pleasant day today. A hike with the dog and Leon and Dottie and her dog Katija.

Vacuumed out the disgusting interior of the Honda Fit. Between the dog and winter crud, the car never stays clean in winter.

Did some writing and getting the basement ready for a project - Leon wants to put in a closet and some shelves so I had to move a bunch of "stuff". We will definitely have to go to Homo Depot because I don't have enough scrap lumber for this project.

Don't anyone hold your breath - it's going to be weeks (hopefully not months) before this is done.

Those Home and Garden shows make projects look SO easy. Everything goes smoothly. They have all the right tools.

When we do anything the drill bit we need is broken or breaks, the saw blade is dull, we don't have the right size screws, we cut the 2x4 one sixteenth of an inch too short, paint gets on the bottom of a shoe and the carpet, the fixture is too big or too small, another trip to the Depot...you get the picture.

There's always FOOD. That is what I do best.

Made some home made pasta tonight with cauliflower and tuna. Mostly because I had cauliflower in the fridge and several cans of tuna in the cupboard. I was actually pleasantly surprised at how good it was.

It's not often I make home made pasta, but I should do so more often. It's fairly easy and the results are so deliciously different from any dry box-pasta. Try it.

Details on my blog: Dinner's Ready.

From the File Cabinet: Daniel at Boys' Beach - Continued

Daniel At Boys' Beach - Continued

            After a short swim and getting Bruno frustrated as he attempted to fetch the rocks that the guys were tossing into the water, they all went back to their spot on the beach.           

            “This is too wonderful for words,” Frankie said for probably the tenth time as they sprawled out on their towels. “What about lunch? I’ve got tuna salad or tuna salad. And some sliced tomatoes.”

            “Sounds good,” Danny said.

            Frankie passed out sandwiches and Jay fed Bruno a snack.

            “It’s great here,” Danny said. “I could get used to it.”

            “As much as I love it here, I doubt that I could live here,” Frankie philosophized. “Especially in the winter. They say the unemployment rate is like eighty-percent or something and there’s nothing to do but drink.”

            “Like I said, I could get used to it.” Danny was only half-joking. “I like the solitude – or at least the opportunity to have solitude when you want it.”

            Jay said, “There’s such a thing as too much solitude. And none at all in the summer. But, the way prices have skyrocketed, we couldn’t afford to live here anyhow. Not unless we had bought a place back in the early eighties and could rent it out for most of the summer, but neither of us had money back then either.”

            “Why rent out your place in the summer, when that is when you most want to be here? No, coming out here once or twice a summer and staying at the campground is fine,” Frankie said, “It makes the time we’re here special. Oh, that reminds me, I want to got out on the schooner Acadia sometime this week. Got to do that at least once a year,” Frankie said. “Love being out on a sail boat and listening to Captain Bill’s stories. Too bad he doesn’t do gay naked cruises.”

            “Yeah, that would be cool,” Danny said, “But I’d love to go out for a sail with you guys, naked or not.”

            And so went a glorious afternoon at the beach. It was one of those September days that seemed too good to be true. Even this late in the season Boys' Beach had a good-sized crowd and it was busy with guys cruising the dunes and walking out into the marsh. Danny and Frankie each slipped on some ear-phones, Danny listening to rock music and Frankie relaxing to the samba rhythms of Sergio Mendes and Brazil ’66.

            It was past three-thirty when Frankie observed the exodus from the beach had begun. “Looks like the boys have to get back to their B&B’s or hotel rooms to take showers and get ready for Tea Dance. I, for one, am not ready to leave. It’s just too nice. We’ll do cocktails at camp while the steaks are on the grill.”

            “T-dance is mostly boring S&M. You know, the pretty boys doing ‘Stand and Model’ and the ‘Steroid and Muscle’ types flexing while lifting their Michelob Lights. Besides, the beach is just getting interesting when the tourists are heading for the Boatslip,” Jay said. “As a matter of fact, I’m going for a walk to see if anything interesting is happening now. Be back in a few.”

            Frankie held on to Bruno’s rope to keep him from following his favorite Daddie. Several guys on their way back to town walked past their spot. Daniel, who was now lying naked on his back, stretched out to grab his pack of cigarettes. The pose would have made a great Honcho centerfold and the motion made a few guys stop to gaze on Daniel’s sexy body.

            An older gent walked into his buddy who had stopped in his tracks and they both nearly fell on top of Danny as they awkwardly attempted to regain their balance. Jay was headed back from his walk.

            “Hey, Danny,” Jay said, “I’m sure if you take a stroll in the dunes you will surely get molested. Just warning you. Of course, I had nothing to worry about.”

            “I’ll just stay put. I don’t think I much care for cruising the dunes.”

            “Maybe you’d change your mind if you gave it a chance,” Jay said.

            Just then, a cute guy, about Daniel’s age, walked right up to Danny and got his attention.

            “I just want to thank you for being here today,” he said. “You are beautiful and I really enjoyed looking at you all day. You made my day. Thanks.” He didn’t wait for a response. He just continued down the beach.

            Danny couldn’t have responded if he wanted to. He was speechless. Embarrassed. Dumbfounded. He wasn’t used to this kind of attention. Coming from friends and strangers alike. Only moments later, another man, slightly older than the first, walked up to Danny and introduced himself.

            “Hi! I’m Adam and I had to talk to you before I left the beach. I saw you earlier when I was walking by. I want to have sex with you. Here’s my number. I live in town. Call me. Tonight. Seriously.” Adam handed Daniel a piece of paper with his info. “I’d love to get together and I am willing to please.”

            Daniel, still caught off-guard, just mumbled, “Oh, right, I’m Daniel, uh Danny, thank you, I mean, oh, uh, I don’t know, thanks anyway.”

            Frankie and Jay just laughed and smiled knowingly at Danny's embarrassment.

            “You don’t even know what you’ve got, do you, Danny? Jay asked. “You could have any guy you want, do you realize that? Ah, Danny, what the average gay man would give to have your looks or, if not, to have you for a night.”           

            “Well," Danny answered, "I don’t know. These guys scare me. I don’t know why, but having guys come on to me, it’s just all pretty new.” Danny was clearly blushing beneath his tan.

            “You’ve got Adam’s number. Go for it Danny. Have some fun,” Jay encouraged.

            “Well, we’ll see,” Danny said, "we'll see."

To be continued

From the File Cabinet - Boys Beach

A little something to take the chill out.

DANIEL AT BOYS BEACH

            Daniel was a friend of Jay and Frankie’s who they had invited up to spend a few days at camp in PTown. Daniel had moved east from Ohio after breaking up with Loretta, the woman he lived with for a couple of years. She’d been possessive and controlling, he finally realized, and knew that only distance would give him the freedom to start a new life without her – a life that included the realization that he really preferred men to women. Jay had worked with Daniel for six years now but this was the first time Daniel had an opportunity to stay with Jay and Frankie in their RV.

            Daniel was in his late twenties and not quite sure of himself when it came to meeting or dating men. He’d had one boyfriend, now an ex-boyfriend and their tempestuous relationship had made him something of a loner. Because of his shyness, Daniel could easily be taken for being aloof. In a place like Ptown, aloofness was normal and even considered desirable – or at least it was a quality that made some men very desirable in the eyes of certain other men.

            Daniel was desirable in his own right, aloof or not. He was about 5-foot-ten, nicely tanned and, despite the fact that he never went to the gym or worked out, he had a perfect physique: big-boned and solid, his arms and torso were those of an Olympic swimmer. His body was decorated with just the perfect amount of dark hair that shouted masculinity without any of the negative qualities of hirsuteness. Daniel did not have the abs of a gym rat, but his belly was flat and taut; a dark treasure trail led from his navel and disappeared into the jeans that hung seductively on his hips and bowed out slightly in the front so that from the right vantage point one could observe a tease of pubic hair. His angular facial features, his cheeks and jaw were accentuated by a sexy 5 o’clock shadow at all hours of every day. His hazel eyes were constantly smiling though his lips were more reserved and showed little emotion.

            “Get your things together, Daniel, we’re heading out to Boys Beach.” Frankie announced.           

            Jay and Frankie and a few of their friends always called the gay section of Herring Cove “Boys Beach” though other Provincetown regulars had other names for the popular spot. It was a relatively remote beach, way past the life-guarded area. It was a good half hour walk from the parking lot or the bike rack and even a bit longer if you hiked out the breakwater from Pilgrims’ Landing to Long Point.

            “And don’t forget to bring plenty of water and your suntan lotion. You wouldn’t want to burn your delicate parts,” Jay added.

            “I’m ready,” Daniel said, dressed in only a pair of cut-offs and holding a rolled up beach towel. “I stuffed a jug of water, some lotion and my cigarettes in here. That’s all I need.”

            Jay and Frankie and their dog Bruno were loaded down like they were going on a desert safari. They had knapsacks, a cooler filled with sandwiches and Diet Coke, a pile of blankets and towels, a beach umbrella, a large thermos jug of ice water, a dog bowl, a leash, and a ten foot rope to keep Bruno from wandering. Somewhere in the pile was a book, a cassette player and the Provincetown Magazine. Bruno had his own saddlebags for water and food and toys. The four of them hopped into Jay’s truck and drove to the Herring Cove parking area.

            “I’ll carry the cooler,” Daniel offered, “and the umbrella, if you like. I don’t mind.”

            Daniel, carrying the cooler, the umbrella and his towel looked even more toned and gorgeous than usual. His bare feet and legs were nicely tanned and his abs glistened with a mere hint of sweat as he walked the beach, effortlessly toting the Igloo cooler. Jay, Frankie and Bruno, in contrast, looked like they were on a month-long expedition.

            The guys made their way past the various groups of sunbathers: past the families with kids, past the Lesbians with kids, past the topless Lesbians, past the naked straight couples and past the gay men with swim suits, around the dunes and to the section of the beach where naked gay men were scattered like castaways. Some single men, some in pairs or groups, soaked up the sun; others were reading books or the daily newspaper, while others frolicked in the waves or strolled nonchalantly along the water’s edge, picking up colored stones or dishing about last night’s tricks.

            “OK, this looks like a good spot,” Frankie said as he dropped a load of beach paraphernalia on the sand. Bruno looked relieved to finally take a rest from the long hike.

            Jay said, “Fine. Looks good. And there’s plenty of eye candy to boot." Frankie and Jay spread out a large blanket and arranged some rocks along the perimeter to prevent an unexpected gust of wind from churning it up. Jay hoisted up the rainbow colored beach umbrella and tied the dog to the center pole.

            Frankie and Jay removed their shorts. “Ah, finally, free,” they both said in unison. Frankie added, “The glorious freedom of being naked on the beach. Has to be the next best thing to heaven, maybe better.”

            “Danny boy, don’t worry about the park rangers,” Frankie said, “they usually just give a verbal warning reminding you that the National Park does not allow nudity. Mostly the rangers don’t go looking for trouble and pretty much ignore the nudity, unless someone gives them flack. Nudity’s been a tradition here for years.”

            “I don’t know about that,” Jay said, “I heard that they’ve got a new head honcho this year and the rangers are under instructions to issue tickets and collect fines if they want to keep their jobs. But it’s after Labor Day, so they might be short staffed and we’ll probably be OK. Besides, there’s usually plenty of warning when the rangers come down the beach on their ATVs. Most guys give a shout and a heads up if they spot a Parkie. Just keep your shorts handy.”

            Frankie said, “I remember when the rangers actually used to patrol the beach on horseback. Maybe that’s what made it so difficult to enforce the no-nudity rule. Much easier to spot a Mounty than a dune buggy.”

            “Well, guys, if you don’t mind I’ll just spread out my towel here and catch some sun. Give me a holler if I need to cover up,” Daniel said as he laid out his magic carpet on the sand about a dozen feet from Frankie and Jay. Frankie didn’t show his disappointment with the distance Danny had decided to put between his towel and their blanket. He had been hoping to keep a closer eye on Daniel’s beautiful body.

            “You never have to cover up, if you ask me,” Frankie said, “but if I see a ranger I’ll let you know.”

            After an hour on the beach, Daniel needed to cool off. There hadn’t been any sign of a ranger, so he walked bare-assed down to the water’s edge and dove in. Bruno, eager for a swim also, tugged at his rope and nearly took the beach umbrella down in an attempt to follow Danny. Frankie got up, untied the dog and the two of them walked down to the water to join Daniel. Jay followed and jumped in before Frankie even got his knees wet. Frankie was trying to adjust to the cool temperature of Herring Cove as Jay sent a cold splash into his face.

            “Hey, cut that out!” Frankie complained.

            And so went a glorious afternoon at the beach. It was one of those September days that seemed too good to be true.

(to be continued)

Father Robert Nugent, New Ways Ministry Died Recently

Father Robert Nugent, SDS,one of the first Catholic priests (co-founder with Sister Jeanine Gramick, SL) to establish a ministry to the nation's LGBT Catholics died recently. While New Ways Ministry is not necessarily known to many, they did work tirelessly to bring the lived experience of LGBT Catholics into Catholic thinking and dialogue. They published informational materials and books and educated the clergy, hierarchy and lay people about LGBT issues; New Ways espoused something of a "liberation theology" that made room for LGBT Catholics to take their rightful place at the table.

It's unfortunate that too few bishops and cardinals and popes were paying attention or taking him seriously.

Link here - In memory of Father Robert Nugent, co-founder of New Ways Ministry.

Mystery Solved?

Looks like Google+ has been toying with photos that I uploaded to Blogger. They've created "Auto Awesome" photos and slide shows as a "gift" to me (and you, too, probably).

So somehow this photo that I posted and chose because it happened to just "be there" when I was trying to do a blog post from my phone, had been previously manipulated by Blogger/Google to have snowflakes. And there you have it.

UPDATE: After some Googling I find that this happens through the Google+  and I thought the App must be on my iPhone, but it is not available for the iPhone, so it must have been done through my Google+ account???? Apparently you can't actually control the final product, Google does it for you.  Go figure.

Here is a video "gift" Google+ made from random photos from my various blogs:

So Russ, you, being on Blogger, are not immune from the Borg. You are just unaware of its power over you. Just stay away from those evil smart phones....

Out at Applebee's

I'm trying to do a blog post from here sitting at the table at Applebee's.

Now the trick is how to put a picture in this post.

Later:
Back home now and I have NO CLUE how this picture of my dog Benni has got artificial snowflakes coming down. This is beyond mysterious. The proverbial Christmas miracle? If I knew how this happened I could do it again, but believe me, I don't know how. Something to do with the iPhone, I imagine.

Anybody have an explanation?

Best Friends

Dottie is a good friend that we met a couple of years ago at the dog park in Bristol. Her Czechoslovakian shepherd Katija and our dog Benni hit it off so well they amaze us every time we walk our 2 1/2 miles through the meadow and woods. Which we do usually three or four times each week.

Benni and Katija are truly soul-mates. I have posted several photos and movies of the two romping and running and playing tug with sticks and posing for photo ops on Benni's blog Benedict Bentley.

In early autumn for about a week Dottie was snapping pictures of Katija and Benni every time we went for a walk. I thought nothing of it.

Well, last night we went to Dottie's for dinner and even though we agreed no gifts, Dottie got us a gift. When I unwrapped it I immediately felt a picture frame and thought knew why Dottie had been snapping pictures - that she had one of the photos framed.

But then I saw a familiar signature "N. Poli" and I recognized it as that of Nicoletta Poli, a Provincetown artist whose art, especially her paintings of dogs, we really love.

"No, Dottie, you didn't" I said.

But when I saw the painting, a watercolor of two black dogs in the woods I got all teary-eyed. It was an original painting of Benni and Katija - our two dogs who are truly Best Friends - the title of the painting.

Last summer on a trip to PTown we picked up a book of Poli's prints - all of dogs - and gave it to Dottie as she is a real dog lover. I mentioned that Nicoletta Poli was a favorite artist.

What I didn't know until Dottie told us last night was that she actually made arrangements to meet with Nicoletta to go through the photos she had taken and to commission a work for us. Dottie drove the five hours to PTown to do this, the two women decided on a theme and Nicoletta did the painting and sent it to Dottie a week or so ago. Dottie was so excited to give it to us.

What an amazing person is Dottie! To give such a thoughtful, amazing, personal gift to us. I had tears in my eyes - partly because the gift was so special and partly because Dottie is so special to do this for us.

We are truly blessed to have a friend like Dottie and Benni is fortunate to be Best Friends with Katija.

Benni mentioned the Poli Gallery  once, and again here, but didn't give the name of the artist/gallery.

Here is the link to her gallery: Nicoletta Poli

Christmas Afternoon Madison, CT 12/25/13

UPDATE:

On December 31, 2013 I sent the following email to Nicoletta Poli:

Nicoletta,

On Christmas Eve, my partner, Leon and I were presented with a beautiful Nicoletta Poli painting of our dog Benni and his "Best Friend" Katija, by our dear friend Dottie Kern. 

At first, before unveiling the picture, I thought it might be a framed photo as Dottie had been snapping photographs for weeks, every time we went walking. As I removed the bubble wrap, the first thing I noticed was your signature, which I recognized immediately. I became excited, thinking Dottie had purchased one of your paintings as a gift. 

Unwrapping further - it was a challenge as that bubble wrap was stubborn - I realized that this was not just one of your paintings but a special one of our dog Benni and Dottie's dog Katija. It literally brought tears to my eyes - first, because it was one of your paintings and second, because Dottie had done such a thoughtful, kind and generous gesture of friendship. 

Leon and I were amazed and grateful. Dottie said that because of her initial reaction to the emailed thumbnail photo of the painting, you were a bit anxious about whether we would like the painting. Rest assured that we do in fact love the painting and that it gave us great joy to receive it. 

Thank you for that, and for capturing the essence of "Best Friends".

P.S. We spoke to you last September when we purchased a book of your paintings for Dottie. You checked out Benni's blog. He has written a post about the painting you did of him and his girlfriend. You can read it at:

Benni's Blog

Utah Amazes Us

From what I've read I'm not sure it's a fait accompli but Congratulations to our friends in Utah on joining us as a marriage equality state.

Affordable Care Act - More Questions Than Answers

I spent a good part of the morning researching how the Affordable Care Act is being implemented in Connecticut. I am on Medicare, so it doesn't effect me, but Leon is self employed and has private health insurance; we think he can keep his coverage beyond January 1st, but we're not rally sure. It is confusing.

Not as simple as it is being made out to be - at least not for some people.

Of main concern is the fact that in Connecticut we have adopted "extended Medicaid" - an expansion of  Medicaid to include anyone whose income is below $15, 500. For people who are making minimum wage or are self-employed, $15,000 can be a wage that allows for the accumulation of some assets - a retirement fund, savings, a car, even a home. Now it is a wage that may effectively force these individuals and their families into poverty.

Given state statutes that are on the books, I believe that Medicaid can attach such assets, put a lien on a house and obtain payback for expenditures on behalf of that individual after the persons death - leaving nothing for a spouse or family, let alone an unmarried "partner"- unless, and this is very unclear, unless these provisions are not enforced under "extended Medicaid" - but nowhere on the state's websites is this made clear or even addressed.

And I searched every which way I could for several hours. And I spent over an hour calling state agencies and state legislators. Nothing. I actually knew more than most of the people I spoke with, not surprising, really.

I've also learned that many individuals with HIV may possibly lose state assistance that pays for private medical insurance premiums under Ryan White if their income is less than $15,000 because they too will now be forced into Medicaid.

So for the nouveau pauvres on the Medicaid roles there is no information about how being on Medicaid will affect retirement savings, a home or other assets.

It could be that such individuals may lose everything they've worked for and at death, their estate, if any, will be used to pay back the state for lifetime of health care premiums and costs with nothing left for survivors, even taking marriage equality into account.

I could be wrong about all of this, and I hope I am, but no one here has been able to clarify these issues. I've actually called several state agencies and received contradictory information.

So, I think the working class being forced into Medicaid is despicable. Some philosopher once said that every solution creates new problems. So it is for the Affordable Care Act.

I blame the Congress for making minced meat out of Obama's original proposal - Universal Health Care with a single payer system.  Obama's biggest mistake - letting them call their Frankenstein monster Obamacare and using that as a term of endearment himself.

P.S. If anyone who knows anything about this issue can clarify it for me - please leave a comment.

Marriage Equality - New Mexico

According to HRC 38.37% of the US population lives in Marriage Equality States counting New Mexico as the latest state to come aboard. Congratulations New Mexico.

In Memory of Clara

Clara Cannuciari, of the YouTube Cooking With Clara series passed away recently at the age of 98.
AThank You to Russ for the news. I am posting her memorial here also.

What a Difference 50 Years Has Made

Here's a little eye candy and some music for the kids.

It is amazing that young people today have some out and proud gay pop music stars that they can relate to. Though I don't know how widespread Steve Grand's fans are or how popular his music is among young people or how much exposure he gets in the music media.

Came across Steve Grand some time ago on one of the blogs. I'm not crazy about his lyrics or even the music, but the video shows gay guys having relationships with fun and tenderness and infatuation and all the things we only vaguely imagined in a contorted, convoluted way as adolescents in 1963.




Back in 1963 only the girls screamed when the Beach Boys performed while many of us gay boys just watched in silence and tried to imagine, unsatisfactorily, that the Boys might, in some alternative universe, be singing to us. After all, we were not the Surfer Girl, but wanted to be with the Surfer Boy...somehow it just didn't work and always left us feeling empty and alienated.
Now, young gay people can see and hear about gay love and infatuation and emotional bonding in a real-life context. They can see others in normal, everyday situations acting like young people.

Here's another video by Steve Grand, about falling in love with a straight friend. Have we all been there? Unfortunately, I was never as sexy or good looking as these guys.

When You Think You've Heard Everything Category

Being wealthy is now a defense for teenage drunk driving! As if the wealthy need more privileges.

I can see being merciful and just but not on the heels of this bogus defense. I can't even comment any further on this, it is so outrageous.

I Really Enjoyed This Video - In The Spirit of The Christmas Season - From WestJet Airlines

Thanks to Wicked Gay Blog for this:

Technology: You Can Bleed To Death If You're On The Cutting Edge - OR - The Rebel vs Technology - OR - This Is Not Walden Pond But We Do Grow Christmas Trees

I don't handle change well.

A few weeks back Leon and I decided to buy a new stove. He says because I like to cook that I should have a decent stove. I'd been putting it off for years because I was turned off by the electronics that are a part of almost all new ranges. My old gas stove was from the Sears Dent-and-Scratch Store.

It had dials. On, Off. Oven On, Set the temperature, Cook, turn Off. Simple. It had pilot lights. When the power was out for a week we were able to use the cooktop and the oven.

The new ones need 110AC to operate the oven.

I used the new stove to cook Thanksgiving Dinner for the family. It was OK. But I have a few observations.

The new stove is a Samsung. Now, don't they make computers? And Smart Phones? My question is why can't they make a smart stove?

The other day I turned on the oven to preheat. Several minutes later, I find the oven cold. Well, Samsung made it so when you push the "Oven" button and set the temperature, you then have to press "Start". Well Duh. If I turn on the oven, I guess I want it ON.

Then, if in the course of cooking you want to change the temperature, you have to turn the oven Off by pressing "Cancel" and then set the new temperature and then press "Start". Way too many steps for a simple task. Why is there no Up/Down button for the temperature? That would make too much sense. Maybe they are afraid someone would "accidentally" change the temp, so they made it fail safe????

Oh, and when you light the burners you have to make sure you stop the dial at the point where the electronic ignition will spark. Now I was used to turning the gas all the way up, waiting for the pilot to fire the burner and then usually start cooking on high anyway. The other day I went through the old motion out of habit, was surprised for a minute that the burner didn't light then remembered to turn the dial back to ignite. Whoosh boom the gas ignited. If I had waited any longer I could have been toast. Ugh!

But OK, I guess I'll get used to it.

Then we decided to got a bit further into the technological world.

My antique cell phone finally bit the dust. Reception had become sketchy, the battery would barely last long enough for one uninterrupted phone call and the window was so scratched up I couldn't make out the display.

So Leon and I went down to the AT&T Store last Saturday and I decided to enter the 21st Century and get an iPhone. The 5c in White plastic. We've been on a family plan or whatever forever and so the upgrade wasn't too outrageous. Especially as I did not opt for any texting and took the lowest data plan. I can use wifi hot spots for free. And we got a "good" 2-year (iks!) contract deal on U-Verse internet and TV -including $100 toward our cancelation of Direct TV, a faster internet connection than the AT&T DSL, a rebate in the amount of the $99 I paid for the phone, waived installation fee and a free phone case. OK, so AT&T is not feeling any pain in this deal but the bottom line for Leon and me is the new deal is less than we were paying for Direct and DSL.

I absolutely love the iPhone. It is a toy that I find fascinating and entertaining. I can speak to Siri and she will find out stuff and dial numbers and write my email and spell it correctly too. I don't have to carry a camera, and there are so many things it can do, I couldn't begin to tell you. I can do blog posts, listen to music, there is a calendar, notes, GPS, Flashlight, Swiss Army Knife. OK, so I'm kidding about the Swiss Army Knife.

So all was well with that.

Yesterday we had U-Verse installed. Let me just say that when the robo-voice at AT&T says, "Thank you for choosing AT&T" my response is always "Yes, most reluctantly". I didn't choose AT&T when they took over our local phone company and now, well I haven't been impressed with them in any respect.

I teach computer courses at the senior center and we use Yahoo mail. They, AT&T Yahoos, changed the interface so many times it is now about as anti-intuitive as you can get. The instructor teaching this round of classes is exasperated and he is a computer professional. The senior center also upgraded (?)  to Windows 7. My frustration with Yahoo is exacerbated by Windows 7 - what Yahoos designed this lame operating system?

Personally my experience with AT&T/Yahoo is just as frustrating when I occasionally go in to check my spam folders. Sign in on Yahoo, sign out and try to sign in again as a different user and each sign-on screen is different. I tried to disable a never used email address and was redirected to three different pages and had to sign in with my user name and password each time. I started at Yahoo and ended up at AT&T; U-Verse got into the act too at some point. AT&T has an identity problem: are they AT&T, Yahoo, U-Verse, or what.

Anyhow, U-Verse is installed; the internet connection is faster (6.0+) but not near the 12.0 ("up to" as AT&T promised).

The TV also does not allow for more than two TV's or one TV and one recording in HD at a time. AT&T NEVER tells you this. They don't exactly address the issue, so they don't directly mislead the consumer. Record up to 4 shows at once - but NOT all in HD. And, Oh it depends on your distance from whatever and the lines, and and and...

We got an error message on the TV that directed us to call AT&T support. We were on the phone for quite some time and she had me registering a new account on the AT&T website, a new user name and temporary password; I had to change password and the passwords I chose were rejected and she didn't know why as they all met the "criteria". Then there were "security questions". Like AT&T website is a Bank and someone might get into my account and withdraw 3 million dollars or something!!!!! What BS.

Well in my opinion, AT&T is good at leading consumers to believe they can deliver more than they are really capable of. "You can watch or record "UP TO" four separate shows" but not necessarily all in HD.  We can piss and moan about the remote, the guide, the way stations are listed, etc. etc.

We just don't do CHANGE well.

Last but not least, when they set up the U-verse, of course the printer couldn't connect wirelessly. I thought I knew how to reset it, but I got off track and deleted then reinstalled the drivers and software. I inadvertently missed one crucial software packet. I called Canon Tech Support.

The tech guy walked me through - actually we ran through at a good pace; once he identified the software that was missing I was a step ahead of him all the way. The printer was up and running in no time. The tech was knowledgeable, clear, logical, anticipated each step, and was above all HELPFUL.

AT&T could use a lesson from Canon on customer service.

*********************************

And just a little something for the season. We have a hillside full of small evergreen trees that I have planted over the years.

There was a pair of Siamese Twins - two trees fused into a single trunk as seedlings and I decided that one would be cut down to let the other develop fully; the one that I cut will be our Charlie Brown Tree this year.

This Year's Charlie Brown Tree

And today we got our first real snow of the season...not as bad as some places.

So that's my story of cutting edge technology. And Walden Pond looks better and better.  Nature is, when all is said and done, where I feel most at home and at peace.

So Leon and I took a walk in the woods with our dog Benni. It was so quiet with the new snow muffling any sound. It was peaceful and healing to get away from the technology and hassles of modern life... away from the stove, the U-Verse, the TV, the computer...but I did bring my iPhone. Never know when you might encounter a big hungry bear...hum.

Gayness in America

In the "no shit, Sherlock" department: An interesting article at the New York Times reports convincing evidence that at least 5% of American men are gay and many are still very closeted, especially in less tolerant states.

The thing I found most interesting was the methodology used for this "study". Thanks to Wicked Gay Blog and Queerty for the links.

Nelson Mandela

A courageous, humble and inspirational leader of great integrity has passed. Perhaps the last of his kind. I truly hope not. The world is a better place because of him.

Our nation and the world desperately needs more leaders such as Mandela.

World AIDS Day Plus Two = Not Disclosing HIV Positive Status Still A Crime

Me, Leon and Bob W. at the Quilt Washington DC 1989?

Thanks to Bob Slatten at I Should Be Laughing for this link - Sex, Lies and HIV: When What You Don’t Tell Your Partner Is a Crime

This article is a sad commentary on the regressive laws enacted in this country, mostly back in the 80s and 90s out of fear of AIDS and when little was known about transmission and treatment; the article relates how these laws are being enforced and destroying the lives of so-called criminals who fail to disclose their HIV positive status before having consensual sex - even Safe(r) Sex. 

Many convicted under these laws retain the additional label of "sex offender" - a scarlet letter law and another misguided reactionary kind of legislation that is on the books on most states.