Saturday, August 11, 2012

LGBT Parenting - And People Say The Scariest Things


Thinking of the many gay and lesbian couples with children, many of whom are fellow bloggers, (Mark, Guy Dads, etc) I was dismayed when I heard about this comment by a spokesperson of a an anti-gay "family" organization (as is my habit, I will NOT use the name in print), namely that children of same-sex couples should be removed (dare I say kidnapped?) from their homes by some kind of "underground railroad" network of religious fanatics.  He bases his comments on the supposed trauma suffered by one boy who grew up parented by two Lesbians.  Troubled son of Bi/Lesbian Mother source article here

While I cannot discount his personal, subjective experience the individual who wrote this obviously had some issues - which, I believe, he would most likely have had even if he grew up with his biological mother and father in somewhat similar circumstances.

There are many children, who grow up in dysfunctional homes;  many who grow up having been parented by one parent, step parents, serial parents, grandparents, group parents, or no parents and several other types of households.  Some have issues, some don't.  Having two men or two women as caring, loving and fully engaged parents is as nurturing and healthy - or more so - than having opposite-sex parents or other types of families which may provide less than optimal parenting - and G. knows there are many of those.

The comment by the anti-gay "family" organization spokesperson was reprehensible and irresponsible, and ignorant not to mention just plain stupid.  I suppose ignorant and stupid is a bit redundant, but that's OK.

Huffington Post source article here

This ignoramus' comment is so outrageous on so many levels and there is absolutely no logic to be found therein, that it is not even worth refuting.  But that doesn't make it any less scary.  These are the kinds of things that may incite others to act in very dangerous ways.

His idea was fashioned after another news article about a child custody case involving a biological mother and her ex-partner (who happened to be an "ex-lesbian" who found religion).

"Kidnapp Trial" source article here

Apparently, the aforementioned ignoramus thinks it was just peachy-keen to arrange a kidnapping and expatriation of a child in order to "save" the child from any contact with her Lesbian mom.

All I'm saying here is that there are frightening ideas circulating out there - ideas that can infect others and, given the right (or wrong) political environment might encourage some other wingnut to act based on the notion that such ideas have some legitimacy.

That is one of the reasons I felt that the Chicken appreciation day was somewhat akin to a KKK rally.  It bestowed an aura of legitimacy (by visibility and sheer numbers) to hate speech and hate behavior and emboldened bigots to come out of their closets.

We must call them out at every opportunity.

4 comments:

Russ Manley said...

Bryan Fischer's looney "kidnapping" suggestion deserves every censure, but I'm going to respond to Richard Lopez's article here. I do think he deserves a hearing, and I do think gay parenting deserves to be looked at carefully and from all sides. What we want is truth, not ideology, because the quality of one's homelife does indeed make a vast difference to an individual.

Actually, as I'm typing here I'm thinking I should probably write my own blog post on this subject and not fill up your comment box. Suffice it to say there are many, many wonderful gay parents - look at Zach Wahls, who seems a very "together" young man and has published a book now on Amazon: "My Two Moms."

But what Lopez describes - a furtive, hidden relationship between two women way back in the 70's - every weekend stuck in a dinky RV trailer park - and nobody took the trouble to be sure that he had close bonds with grown men for masculine role models (now Frank you know as well as I do some lesbians are very anti-male): all of that was very bad and very hard on the kid, I'm sure.

And I can relate because even though my parents were hetero, they had a tragically unhappy marriage followed by a very bitter divorce, and to top things off, my dad died when I was 15. So even though circumstances were different, I too felt the great lack of a masculine role model in my life for many years, and I get where Lopez is coming from. His conclusions are flawed, but he deserves to be heard with respect and a willingness to understand.

Frank said...

I agree about Lopez; I didn't want to do a commentary on his subjective experience which sounds tragic and lonely, and in the 1970's was probably more common than it would be today.

Too bad his story is being used to justify an anti-gay parenting point of view instead of using the example to promote the learning of good parenting skills by everyone who cares for children - straight or gay.

Russ Manley said...

I heartily agree. I've written and posted my ramble now over on the Blue Truck. Not sure I made any sense - this topic brings up memories at every turn, so maybe it's a bit disjointed - but I feel much better now. And what's a blog for?

Thanks for posting a link to Lopez's essay, I think it's important to get the human story here, from all concerned.

Bill Dameron said...

Scary stuff Frank. I am amazed at where I will find people who think this way, in my own family even. They are suffering with their own internal turmoil, but that doesn't keep us safe from them.

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