Thursday, February 16, 2012

From My File Cabinet - 5 The Hetero Quiz


This is a "souvenir" of my days as a health educator and activist, when we would be invited to give presentations on HIV and AIDS.  It was the era of Gay Men Coming Out - and gay men being forced out of the closet by AIDS.

Depending on the circumstances and the audience, we sometimes slipped in a little fun exercise to help educate people about homosexuality.

It seems to me that a lot of people, especially a bunch of Republican politicians and leaders of (un)Christian churches could use a little education.  I am not so naive as to think they can actually BE educated, but lets try.

Send them this questionnaire.  (seems I'm into questionnaires lately).


HETEROSEXUAL QUESTIONNAIRE

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

2. When and where did you decide you were a heterosexual?

3. Is it possible this is just a phase and you will out grow it?

4. Is it possible that your heterosexual orientation has stemmed from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

5. Do your parents know you are straight? Do your friends know- how did they react when you told them?

6. If you have never slept with a person of the same sex, is it just possible that all you need is a good gay lover?

7. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality... can’t you just be who you are and keep it quiet?

8. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

9. Why do heterosexuals try to recruit gays into their lifestyle?

10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual... Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual teachers?

11. Just what do men and women do in bed together? How can they truly know how to please each other, being so anatomically different?

12. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

13. How can you become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality?

14. Considering the menace of overpopulation how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?

15. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don't you feel that he or she might be inclined to influence you in the direction of his own leanings?

16. There seem to very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. Have you considered trying aversion therapy?

2 comments:

  1. LOL I remember seeing this years ago, and it's still just as funny and as pertinent now as it was then.

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  2. Brilliant, especially #11. I had that conversation once with a straight friend, telling him it's only logical that a man can give better head than a woman since he has a cock and knows how it feels. That poor guy was stumped and could only respond with a "ewww".

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