Can It Be As Simple As Lack Of Empathy?

 Please read Debra's Post on "She Who Seeks". It is an eye-opening explanation of where we are at with the conservative efforts to takeover the government. But the problem remains: what is the antidote?

Serendipity Made My Day

Serendipity: the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way. 

Had to do a few errands in town (Santa Fe) on Monday...get the Honda serviced, stop at the Bank's ATM, drop off clothes at the shelter, pick up a prescription. Normally I would have a passing thought about getting a coffee or lunch, then think about the options and expense and decide to just go home. 

But it was only 10:30 and I hadn't had much for breakfast, so I decided to treat myself at Counter Culture, an artsy, bohemian hangout for locals and one of the more decent food establishments in Santa Fe with a somewhat interesting menu.

I was standing at the counter waiting to place my order for a fried egg, bacon and swiss sandwich and noticed a display of Counter Culture matchbooks that looked like they were for customers to take. I reached for one only to discover that the matches were behind a very clean glass case below the counter. "Oops!" I said out loud.

The woman in back of me who was with a companion, says, "Don't you hate it when that happens?"

"Yeah," I replied and laughed.

The woman gets the attention of the counterperson and says, "Give the guy a book of matches." 

The counterperson complied and handed me a couple of them. I turned to the nice woman and said, "Thanks. I quit smoking 35 years ago and you know, now I never have matches on hand. Sometime you need to light a candle or a birthday cake."

She and her companion laughed and we started chatting about smoking, about the Counter Culture famous humongous cinnamon buns, the coffee, all in a matter of minutes while I ordered my sandwich, coffee, and a "cinnamon bun to go" for hubby. When I told them the bun was for my husband. They said, "How thoughtful," and seemed pleased. In those few minutes we established a rapport and it seemed like we were old friends running into one another at this cafe.

I grabbed my coffee, bun and the order number on its pedestal to place on the table for the waitperson and turned to the two women, "I'm going to eat at the tables outside and I'd love it if you'd care to join me," I said. (Who is this Frank who is suddenly so outgoing?" I thought to myself.)

"Yes, we'd love to," the taller woman replied. I chose a table in the sun and displayed my number for the waitperson who would bring my order. The two women soon joined me with their coffees and their number.

We started chatting immediately and I learned that they are sisters (I knew I'd remember Candy but I've forgotten her sister's name) who have come to town from North Carolina several times since their brother died suddenly, to take care of his house and his affairs. He was a Park Ranger with the Park Service. That was an opening for me to bring up hubby who is also a Park Ranger, but with Bureau of Land Management, Recreation Department. Another instant bond.

We talked about their brother and his many years with the Park Service. And their planning for a memorial service. He traveled a lot, lived alone, liked to target practice shooting his gun on the property where a large picture of the former president was apparently his favorite target. We laughed. I felt the connection more deeply and said, "Just know that I'll be there in spirit at his memorial service."

I told them of Leon's and my adventure in coming to New Mexico. We talked about North Carolina, about quirky Cochiti Lake, about traveling. Candy was the more talkative of the two and she said she wanted to go to Italy, but did not want to go with her husband (I forget why). I immediately said, "I'll go with you!" (Who is this Frank who is suddenly so friendly?" I thought to myself.) We laughed.

Candy asked about my husband, how long we'd been together and when we got married. She shared that her daughter is married to a women and they have two children. She was appreciative of the fact that we older LGBTQs paved the way and made it easier for her daughter to live openly. I reminded her that there were many before my generation who paved the way for us and who had it much harder. 

We talked a bit about the current climate of regressive laws and how things seem to be going backwards. I mentioned that when Leon and I travel cross country we make it a point to carry our marriage license. I said that one of the reasons we chose to relocate to New Mexico was that it is a safer state than many.

The three of us chatted for an hour and seemed not to run out of things to talk about. It seemed like we'd known one another for years. It was such a delightful serendipitous encounter. I told them that meeting them made my day.

We hugged goodbye and made a tentative date to have breakfast together when they return for the memorial service. I asked to take their picture. And here they are. Candy on the left.

The chance meeting really did make my day and the feeling stayed with me all day while I did a few more errands and drove home. I think about the fact that, on other trips to town, I would never have treated myself to breakfast, but for some reason I let go of my frugality and went with it. And I met two beautiful, warm and friendly ladies. These are the little mysteries of life.

A Little Trip to Southern New Mexico

Hubby had to attend a conference for work in Ruidoso, New Mexico and his employer provided nice accommodations. I was fortunate to be allowed to accompany him, stay in the hotel room and spend a few days checking out the little touristy town of Ruidoso.

Suffice it to say that this not the season to be a tourist in Ruidoso. At least 90% of the shops and restaurants are closed weekdays until their summer season begins. As we were there during the week, there was not much to do there. Boring. Boring. 

The Texans invade in winter for skiing and in the summer to cool off a little. Spring is apparently way OFF season. I don't know what the attraction is even in season, other than a place where wealthy rednecks get together to drink and shout and drive their big trucks and eat beef. I guess lots of locals also drive excruciatingly loud pick-up trucks, obvious looking for attention as they drive the main street in town. Fortunately our hotel was a bit off the beaten path.

Every town in New Mexico has the "BEST GREEN CHILI CHEESE BURGER" and sometimes more than one restaurant in town claims it. And finding anything besides burgers and fried foods in Ruidoso was a challenge.  I think every average New Mexico eatery buys their food from the same big restaurant supply warehouse because it all seems to look and taste the same. 

I should do a post on the scarcity of interesting, healthy food in New Mexico. Maybe I'm just not looking in the right places. I am not crazy about Mexican/New Mexican cuisine but the beef fajita at the Hacienda in Ruidoso was very good. 

The highlight of my day on Wednesday was buying food at the grocery store for our dinner.

The hotel was quite nice and our room/suite was probably the nicest one I've ever had the opportunity to occupy. We stayed four nights. Free breakfast with just about everything you could want for an American style wake-up.

There must be carpet designers especially for fancy hotels.

The highlight of our little trip was the Valley of Fires, a Malpais (Badlands) area of ancient lava flows. There was a very nice one-mile nature trail with interesting flora and lava formations. 

I like rocks and plants, so this was my kind of tourist attraction. Here are a bunch of photos, but it's better in person.

Sometimes I Just Have to Get Out of the Dessert

 Went to Albuquerque Bio Park Botanical Garden this morning. It was such a relief from a long drab winter in a chalky-brown-puce color landscape and endless juniper trees, both living and dead. It was a beautiful day. My knee is a bit swollen as I did a lot of walking.

Do You Remember "Doctor" Laura?

 Something reminded me of her today. Back in the 80s she was a very popular radio talk show "psychologist" giving out advice. She was very entertaining. Then she got nasty anti-gay and racist. I and all my friends stopped listening. One of her listeners sent her a letter. This is from Snopes:

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

Exploring the "Petrified Forest"

 I've posted about this area in New Mexico where there are petrified logs and large and small fragments of such. But two friends of ours Alan and Sam had never been there and Alan is a geologist by profession and was interested in exploring a bit. This area of the dessert was once a lush forest. Climate change is not a new thing.

The area is not easy to get to. It is a good half hour on secondary dirt roads from the main dirt road where the gate is maintained by the Bureau of Land Management. 

This is one of the many areas that Park Ranger hubby has to patrol; mainly doing such chores as checking counters, repairing barbed wire fences and placing new signage as needed. He gets to see interesting areas that most people don't even know about. There is a place where thousands of shark teeth are part of the geologic deposit. And supposedly there's a mastodon skeleton somewhere "out there".

It was a gorgeous late winter day and very comfortable to be out hiking. And best of all: No crowds. Actually we were the only ones  there.

Alan and Sam and Leon in the background

The largest petrified log

Cute little cactus growing in the rock

It was a very bumpy ride in the Ford F250

Some other large chunks of petrified wood

Alan, Leon, Sam

Mystery Orb Spotted in New Mexico

 I think this is a COOL photo even if the orb near the horizon is an artifact. I took the photo this afternoon on NM Rt 16 near Cochiti. Actually posting two shots to show different positioning of the orb.

Catching up a Bit After That Depressing Rant (AND now Blogger is messing up the Fonts! Why????)

 AND now Blogger is messing up the Fonts! Why????

1. Mardi Gras Dinner Party

 A few weeks ago I was informed by a neighbor, Wendy, our favorite fag hag, and I use the term lovingly, that there is a "new" gay guy in town. Well, new since COVID practically ended any large social gatherings where established resident could meet newbies. Remember our town has a population of only about 450 residents and one gets to know many, if not on a personal level, then by site or reputation.

Wendy met him through their mutual involvement in the NM Gay Men's Chorus and he has apparently been involved in Opera in some way for years. Anyhow, Wendy said that W.R. was having a Mardi Gras dinner party and she volunteered me to make the King Cake and jambalaya! Last year I swore I would not be making King Cake again, but as Grandma used to say, "You don't know nothing yet!"

The actual colors were better than the photo and the plastic cup was to keep the plastic wrap from messing up the frosting. So my King Cake was not as elegant as it could have been,

So I somewhat reluctantly made a King Cake and jambalaya for the dinner party of someone who I'd never met. W.R. had invited a total of eight guests: Leon and me, Wendy and her husband, two other men who were somehow involved in opera or singing and two women who were friends of his who arrived with a cute little barking dog.

Both W.R. and one of the men were in the habit of talking as though they were projecting their voices to the very back row of the second balcony. The guest in particular was excruciatingly loud. I am not exaggerating. His husband was almost as loud. Probably in order to be heard over his husband's habitually deafening voice. W.R. and the two men dominated the conversation most of the evening and with the little dog barking, other guests having to occasionally shout trying to get a word in, and the woman yelling at her dog to stop barking, the decibel level in the room was off the charts. It was literally PAINFULL. I couldn't wait to leave.

I will say the food was excellent. W.R. is somewhat of a professional cook and he prepared turkey with andouille dressing, mini beef Wellingtons, green beans, sweet potatoes. My jambalaya was made with chicken, andouille and shrimp. W.R. is currently on a very strict diet so was not able to eat anything. The eight guests sat at the festively decorated table while W.R. stood in the kitchen encouraging guests to eat more.

We stayed for what seemed like an endless two and a half hours. Everyone left at about the same time and no one offered to help with the clean-up. I am hoping that W.R. will not try to "be my friend" for several reasons that I will sum up by saying he has some strange quirks and personal issues and I don't wish to be a therapist.

2. Miscellaneous

A few photos etc.

Made Cornetti recently - not easy

It's the Italian Version of Croissants

Pizza and Sausage Bread

View from Our Town

The BIG Snow of 2023

Another View - Jemez Mountains

Hoochaneesta Blvd - Our Main Street

The Rio Grande

One Corner of Dystopia