Today Was Bread Day

 

Three Loaves

12 Rolls

Am I an Atheist?

 I recently posted the video of Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood singing John Lennon's Imagine at Jimmy Carter's funeral. In one of the comments the song was referred to as the "atheist anthem" (I'd never heard that before) and it got me thinking. Am I really an atheist?

First of all I find the song Imagine to be deeply meaningful and even spiritual. And yes, I am "a-religious", if not entirely "anti-religious" although I can find plenty of reasons to be anti-religion. I probably have a deeper understanding and appreciation of religion, particularly Catholicism, than most who profess to be anti-religion and that, I think, gives my opinion some authority.

As for the "theos" or the "theoí" - there is little I can add to the millennia of preponderance on the topic. I've said before that I don't necessarily not believe in the same god that many who call themselves atheist don't believe in or for the same reasons. My disbelief or non-belief is more sophisticated than not believing in the god that a six-year old believes is watching them while they steal a piece of candy at the 7-11.

But with that said, what I will offer is a re-post of something that appeared on this blog back in December, 2011. It was my Christmas entry (I did not do one this 2024 holiday season as I have less and less to say on this platform and fewer to say it to.) Anyhow, for what it's worth:

Saturday, December 24, 2011

I Can Say Nothing Of God Except...

Last year my sister, who is a Sister of Mercy, sent me a prayer she had written about the things and people in her life that gave meaning to the celebration of Christmas.

Each line began with the words, "I can say nothing of God except..."

This prayer reminds us, whether theist, atheist or agnostic, that we can really say little meaningful about God.  That perhaps our belief in God's existence is about as meaningful as another's belief in God's Non-existence. The fact that so many people today claim to know "God", the "will of God" or who or what or which country has "God's favor", is, if nothing else, awfully self-righteous and arrogant.

Perhaps we can say nothing of god except ... what is available to us in our own unique, concrete, quotidian experience. This year I offer my version of my sister's prayer:

I Can Say Nothing of God Except... (c 2019, edited 2025)

I can say nothing of God except the serenity of a walk in the woods on a clear December morning

I can say nothing of God except the surprise that the Bird of Paradise gave me when, after fifteen years, it bloomed in the sun room one February

I can say nothing of God except skiing down a mountain on a sunny winter day

I can say nothing of God except the good food we have to eat and share with whoever enters our home

I can say nothing of God except the seniors who think it is a miracle to make digital photos appear on the computer screen

I can say nothing of God except the shared company of long-time friends

I can say nothing of God except airplanes have taken me to fascinating places

I can say nothing of God except the memory of my mom and grandma and aunts makes me happy when I make manicotti or escarole with beans or cookies

I can say nothing of God except the paintings on the wall that my dad made when he was seventeen

I can say nothing of God except walking up to the rim of the Grand Canyon very early one morning and being speechless for fifteen minutes while my tears flowed spontaneously

I can say nothing of God except sleeping on the beach while listening to Sergio Mendes

I can say nothing of God except an old Valentine from my honey I came across while cleaning drawers

I can say nothing of God except the vastness of the sea and a sailboat against blue sky

I can say nothing of God except the touch of, and touching another man 

I can say nothing of God except I am sitting in the living room with the man I love while the dog sleeps on the couch and Christmas music plays softly

 

One More Netflix MUST SEE - Five Star Movie

Hubs and I just watched a wonderful movie on Netflix this afternoon. This is a movie I think every American should see, should be required viewing for every politician, every congressperson and all military personnel. 

This made me aware of the fact that our country is so close to going backwards while it has barely stepped forwards.

Six Triple Eight has left me practically speechless. It brought tears to my eyes more than once, more than twice, practically throughout the movie. Superb acting throughout. Excellent screen play, directing and filming. Kerry Washington and a great supporting cast.

If you watch anything on Netflix, put SIX TRIPLE EIGHT at the top of your list.

Some Wintertime Netflix Pics and Network TV

I started this post Tuesday but then I wasn't feeling well....Except for aches and pains that come with age, I haven't had so much as a cold or flu since 2019.  But my luck ran out (or I let my guard down) and tested positive for COVID yesterday after one really miserable night. Leon and I were very careful when traveling a month ago and always wore masks in the airports and on the plane. But I was getting over confident back here in New Mexico...even then I can't figure where I picked this up...an uncrowded restaurant? the grocery store? Friends? I was able to get the Paxlovid Rx yesterday and I am feeling tolerably miserable today.

And I just want to share this before getting to the main topic of my post. One of my favorite songs of all times performed by Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood at President Carter's funeral. How fitting and appropriate.

 

Anyhow here are a few suggestions for entertainment on cold winter evenings. All are on Netflix except Brilliant Minds on NBC network TV. I think some full seasons or episodes can be seen on YouTube.

KAOS - A very creative retelling of Greek mythology, set in modern, contemporary times. Defying Zeus is a theme here. The serious story plots are interspersed with macabre humor. No one seems able to escape their "prophesy" or their fate. The gods communicate with land line phones, the Furies ride motorcycles. If you know something about Greek mythology, you may find KAOS entertaining.

 

No Good Deed - House for Sale with secrets. The first few episodes are a bit slow and you're kind of like "Where is this going?" But it gets better.

 Man on the Inside - A little contrived but entertaining. No violence.

 

 The Diplomat - Suspenseful, good acting, international relations and political intrigue.

The Resident - Has to be one of the all time addictive medical soap operas. Blood gushing everywhere. Some very unlikely scenarios - like surgeons staffing the ER and preposterous medical procedures. Did I mention blood gushing everywhere and that it's addictive? We questioned our taste and sanity but couldn't stop watching. Interesting characters. Some socially redeeming story lines around serious issues.

White Collar - Convicted felon and white collar criminal Neil Caffrey (Matt Bomer) works with the FBI to catch other white collar criminals. The first few seasons are good but I kind of lost interest after a while.

 

Lincoln Lawyer - Some interesting story lines and good acting. Legal stuff that lawyers do (on TV). The trailer is not a very good sample:

 

 The Sinner  - I would call it a kind of dark investigative/mystery series. The first episode, from what I recall was a bit difficult to follow.

 

 Made in Italy - A "feel good" movie with nice scenery of the Tuscany region of Italy. I think the story has been done in various versions before.

Dark Winds - Intriguing, disturbing western native American crime series set in the 70s. The scenery is what I see every day so maybe that's part of what I find disturbing.

 

Network TV - Brilliant Minds - Somewhat eccentric Dr Wolf (Zachary Quinto) plays a gay doctor who along with his exceptional team of doctors diagnose and treat mysterious diseases and conditions with exceptional skill and sensitivity. Episode 7 was excellent. Hubby and I both cried.

 

 

Unfrosted - Don't waste your time. Competition between Kellogg and Post Cereal over Poptarts. Silly. Stupid.  Every possible cliche from the 50s and 60s. I fell asleep.

Some Past Recommendations:

I Care A Lot

Turn of the Tide

Nuovo Olimpo

Inventing Anna

I Learned Somethings I Didn't Know About Italians and Their Relationship With the Catholic Church

 I didn't know the history of the Italian Unification vis-a-vis Rome and the Vatican. I did have a strong sense of both the secularization of Italy and it's underlying Catholic morality and this video is quite informative about these complex issues. 

Even though I'm American-Italian and over 70, I relate to the group of those who have become secularized.

My Holiday E-mail

Greetings to You and Your Loved Ones:

Just a note to wish you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Season’s Greetings, Happy New Year, Winter Solstice    ….and to let you know that even though we did not send out cards this year, Leon and I are alive and well (enough). We Thank you for your Cards and Holiday Wishes.

AGE catching up to me, Leon’s busy WORK schedule, and the general STATE of AFFAIRS, has made us both less inclined to engage in the HOLIDAY RITUALS…so we are having a very minimalist Christmas this year.  Even many of those traditional cookies and foods are missing from our house! (we are enjoying other people’s cookies however) We’ve made donations to the homeless shelter, LGBTQ non-profits and other charitable causes in lieu of gifts. Much less stressful and more in keeping with the Spirit of the Season.

The often mindless frenzy of the season as promoted by commercialism has always struck me as rather profane and a source of existential angst. I often find even the expectations based on religious or cultural tradition to be sometimes a source of stress and guilt rather than a source of joy and peace.

But I’ve always been a outlier, a reluctant rebel, a contrarian, a sceptic, proudly gay and mostly “woke.” And perhaps in my OLD AGE I am beginning to own those parts of me along with the aches and pains. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am, we are, Leon and I, also so GRATEFUL for all that we have: we are not lacking any necessities (there's at least one too many vehicles in the driveway), we have great FRIENDS and RELATIVES (you among them), wonderful MEMORIES (Leon has more memories than I do!) and just our being together, and, here in New Mexico lots of SUNNY DAYS (although we had a freak snow before Thanksgiving - 12 inches - see photo above) .

In all of that we find our JOY and PEACE.

Wishing JOY and PEACE to You, too.

While this missive is mostly “FRANK” 

“LEON” sends his LOVE as well.

Frank and Leon

P.S. I do not have email addresses for every family member or friend. Please pass on our Greetings to your loved ones and friends.

Baking Day

I must have had a few good hours of sleep last night because I was industrious today.

I made a double batch of Jim's Apple Muffins today and Italian Bread.

Apple muffins: 

    1 1/2 cups grated (McIntosh) apples 

Mix together:

    1 egg 

    1/2 cup milk 

    1/4 cup Crisco (or canola) oil  

Add the above to 

    1 1/2 cups flour

    1 cup sugar (I use 3/4 cup)

    2 tsp. baking powder

    1/2 tsp. salt

    1/2 tsp cinnamon (and a dash of pumpkin spice)

Mix until all is moist and put into 12 large muffin tins (or 2 small loaf pans)

Topping: 1/3 cup chopped walnuts, 1/3 cup sugar

Sprinkle topping on each muffin before baking

Bake at 400 F for 25 to 30 minutes (a bit longer for loaf pans)

 

 

And then there's the bread. Because there is no good Italian bread in New Mexico. So I have to make my own at least every two weeks.

 

Water, yeast, sugar, salt, flour.  

 

It's all the same.... but oh so different depending on hydration (proportion of flour to water), rise time, oven temperature, steam. This was one of my best crusty, light texture breads yet. High hydration. I think it was about 70% or slightly higher. A very soft sticky dough. Like focaccia or ciabotta dough. 

Leon and I already ate half a loaf.

October 11, 1987 - Thirty-seven Years Ago - The Second National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights

Just a reminder to all of you that we in the LGBTQ community have had a long history of fighting for our right to be who we are and to express our sexuality and to love who we want to love.  

And a further reminder that our rights are not guaranteed forever, because, if those espousing the draconian vision of the 2025 Agenda get their way, we may lose everything we've gained and then some.

The Second National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights was a massive political rally in Washington, D.C. on October 11, 1987. The movement was reaching its zenith in the 80s and  AIDS was a major influence in our becoming more visible, and out, and proud. 

Lesbian and Gay Rights because the Bi and Trans folks were not yet being specifically acknowledged and the term Queer was still an insult. No one even contemplated a "plus".

Approximately 750,000 people took part in the march and other events including a civil disobedience action in front of the Supreme Court.

The 1987 March on Washington stands as an important part of LGBTQ history. 

 I was there with a group from Hartford, CT.

Hector*,  Me, Richard, Robin, ?, Joe, ?
   * Hector was my co-worker at the CT Dept of Health AIDS Program. He died of HIV/AIDS

Remembering the March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Civil Rights: a song by Ten Percent Review:

 

The focus of the 1987 National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights was to demand our civil rights and to protest the government's lack of concern for HIV/AIDS.

The AIDS Quilt was displayed for the first time on the National Mall in Washington, D.C., during the weekend event.

It covered a space larger than a football field and included 1,920 panels.

I'm not absolutely sure if this picture was taken at the 1987 March in Washington, but I think it was. It was a time before digital cameras and iPhones. Can you imagine?

A Break From The Desert

I've Been Immortalized by an Artist!

 My brother sent me a photo of an original watercolor by an artist friend of his, Jeff Bellantuano, that was inspired by an old photo of me and my 1972 Fiat 128 Sport Coupe when we went camping back in 1973 or 1974. The artist labeled it "Nova Scotia, c. 1974" but I'm thinking it was near the Farmington River in Connecticut. In any case, I'm flattered!

Bob Newhart Remembered

 Those of you old enough to have watched both "The Bob Newhart Show" and "Newhart" will remember the finale of "Newhart" when Bob, the Vermont innkeeper, wakes up from a dream back on his old show where he played a psychologist married to Suzanne Pleshette. Bob's timing and delivery of lines is classic. One of the funniest scenes in TV comedy. Bob Newhart is a classic.

A Little Something for My Catholic Friends and Family

 The "evangelicalisation" of the Catholic Church in America (due in part because all the liberals have fled) borders on heresy, in my opinion. Their political conservatism is sorely misguided and their religion has been contaminated. 

Here is a Catholic priest who speaks honestly about politics. I post this in spite of recent events because DJT will milk his near martyrdom for all it's worth. Just wait for the money beg.

A Break From Politics - Gardening on YouTube With Gian Marco Mapelli

My new favorite YouTube gardening channel. Hummm...

Miscellaneous New Mexico

 Our little town had a pretty decent fireworks display on the 4th. 

Where Else Would There Be a Chile Clinic?
And What Do They Treat?

Growing Veggies is a Challenge 

But I am up to it 

First Tomatoes 

Desert 4 O’Clocks in the Backyard 

Santa Fe Pride 2024

I think I needed a little dose of Pride after all the negativity coming at us for the past seven or eight years and even more so this year. The bible-bangers/republicans/christian nationalists/bigots have doubled down on their hatred and bigotry. As Joe of Joe.My.God news blog put it:

They wish we were invisible.

We’re not.

Let’s dance.

 

It's not New York, but it is after all, Santa Fe Subdued. Or Santa Fe Sleepy.

But seeing the crowd, the Rainbow Flags up and down the street and Plaza, hearing the music...it was healing and reassuring and a reminder that 

Yes We Are Queer and We're STILL Here!

 

Not a lot of photos because, well the photos just don't convey the festive vibe. And I wasn't really into taking pictures. 

Pride isn't quite what it used to be: no longer a march of visibility and defiance and demanding out rights, but more a march of our allies and supporters and social service organizations and commercial enterprises and even churches. Hard to tell who's L,G,B,T,Q or plus or straight.

Even the Government agencies are represented (don't tell the republicans, they will start writing ridiculous bills and trying to pass them in Congress).

Hubs works for Bureau of Land Management Recreation division. His field office had a booth at Santa Fe Pride again this year and Leon was proud to be there in his new uniform. (We are not thrilled with the colors, but I guess it's not up for debate).  

Here are a few photos of BLM and Park Service in the parade.

Hubs in his BLM uniform and me in mine.

Anyhow, Happy Pride to all!

Rainbow over Cochiti this evening. Who says Gay Power isn’t real?

Stonewall - A Musical Tribute

 Just a brief musical tribute to the Stonewall protest and Gay Lib. Music from an era subsequent to the Gay Lib movement.

(For a more complete and informative post about Stonewall see "I Should Be Laughing")

 

This defined many of our relationships for many years before marriage equality (and may do so again one day soon):

 

Surf’s Up at the Lake

I told Leon to get in the car after dinner. Drove down the street to the convenience store and bought a couple of Klondike Bars. Then we went down to the lake, sat on top of a picnic table, ate our 300 calorie ice cream and watched the waves. 

The "surf" was "crashing" on the shore and if I tried hard I could imagine the waves at Race Point. It was actually a nice sound because the lake is usually very calm. The rhythm of the waves was nice to hear. 

 

And it was 10 degrees cooler there than at the house. 

Driftwood left in dead trees drowned by high water levels

Our town in upper left corner; I don't know how to interpret the depth lines on the map. I assume the deepest part is in the center (white) area. The Rio Grande continues below the dam.

Stop the Merry-Go-Round! I Want to Get Off

 Yesterday morning, as we were heading to Santa Fe, I was driving, and Leon was listening to some YouTube video in which the interviewer was asking people whether “Pride has gone too far.”

I wasn’t listening too closely for whatever reason, and I assumed that it was a gay interviewer, talking to gay people about pride. When I did start listening, it sounded to me like everyone who responded was totally missing the point.

It was like they had never heard of Stonewall and or the gay liberation front and or the centuries of oppression and violence directed toward sexual minorities.

I said I wish I could respond, but not really. I’m getting to really hate these man and/or woman and/or whoever on the street interviews. 

But then Leon started reading the comment section. The comments were even more bizarre, confused, misinformed, and hateful.

I was very confused about whether the YouTube video itself was posted by an ally or an enemy. (Checking on this later today I find he - the YouTuber is a 19 year old black kid who seems to get all his misinformation from Newsmax. So that explains it.)

Obviously, most of the commenters were ignorant, hateful people. I’ve seen enough stupid and disrespectful comments on LGBTQ positive websites. So all this was just too much.

I really just wanted to scream “Shut up!” Exasperated, I said to Leon, “There’s just no escape. Isn’t there somewhere we can go to get away from this madness? I fucking can’t stand people anymore.”

I’m convinced that the percentage of ignorant, uneducable imbeciles has increased exponentially since you know who was elected in 2016 and became president in January of 2017. It is definitely approaching a critical mass.

P.S. I was going to post the video of Merry-go-round by Wildman Fisher but it’s just too irritatingly stupid. If you want to listen to it, you can go to this link.

https://youtu.be/CHqR1Rql5r8?si=eeAc2hSep2GGwVWj

The Heartache of Dining Out or Why I Cook at Home

 I left this review after we had pizza at a place in Taos, New Mexico:

We felt bad for the young woman who was waiting every table in the outside area (and maybe inside as well) which was quite busy for a Monday. She was doing a great job with no help. 

The Greek salad was excellent and a nice combo of greens, olives, feta and other veggies with a very tasty dressing. 

As for the pizza. As an Italian-American who has been making pizza for over 40 years I would say this has little resemblance to authentic pizza. Pizza is the base, the crust, the yeast dough that rises and makes big open air bubbles that when baked makes it not only crispy but gives the flavor of a yeast bread. Our pizza was undercooked and had not risen properly. Fermentation was totally lacking. The crust was actually partially raw and unedible. The sauce and the toppings gave it all the flavor. If this was the best pizza in Taos, they don’t know what pizza is. 

Over priced, long, long wait. And again horrible crust.

Large Greek salad, 12 inch pizza with sausage and mushrooms, one iced tea, over $40. 

The wait for service and finally getting our meal was longer than I would ordinarily tolerate but we were patient because the waitperson seemed to be doing it all by herself. Meanwhile, some patron had left their very expensive truck running, headlights on, with the air conditioner going for their dog, but right next to the outdoor dining area which was extremely annoying for all who were eating (waiting to eat) outside. There were plenty of parking spaces well away from the dining area.

I mention all this because dining out is not the pleasant experience it once was. Unless one goes to a pretentious "fine dining" restaurant the food is so often mediocre at best. The claim to fame for almost every New Mexican restaurant is either the "green chili cheeseburger" or the "huevos rancheros" and all the other menu items are the same in about 90% of New Mexican restaurants: some kind of tortilla or taco with meat, cheese and beans. Usually way over priced for what you get, often factory produced (e.g. anything breaded and fried, fried potatoes, burgers from the one or two "distributors" in the area, factory deserts, and non-alcoholic beverages from $2.50 to $6.00.

So I came across this in YouTube and well,....I'm making homemade bread and pizza tonight.

P.S. It's going to be a challenge to get logs burning in my new oven.

The Many Facets of New Mexico

Preface: The forest fires are burning in the southern part of the state. Very devastating for the people of Ruidoso. There are also fires in the west and northwest. If only we could get some of the rain that is making a mess in the east. 

We made a trip to Taos so I could see the orthopedic doctor for a reevaluation of my knee issue. Long story short I got a cortisone injection and an opportunity to get a replacement should things get worse over the summer. Continue with physical therapy and lose weight. 

Leon took a couple of days off work so we decided that a change of scenery was needed from the monotony of the desert. The area around Taos is greener and has real trees and grass - at least in some places. I think it also has a bit of privilege in some places too, but we avoided that as much as possible. 

After the doctor we went for a drive. I would just mention that I was a bit ferclempt considering surgery one minute and appreciating being with my hubby exploring the outback the next. 

We drove to Rio Grande del Norte National Monument-Wild Rivers. Did not do a lot of hiking but went to the overlook. At my age and with my knee arthritis I was content with that. 

We then drove a very rough off-road several miles to Cabresto Lake - a mountain lake surrounded by trees and greenery. Did a nice short hike along the lake trail. Here’s a few photos. 

View of the Rio Grande from the overlook

Not Georgia O’Keeffe’s tree

We are normally at about 5500 feet, So being at over 9000 feet took the wind out of me even on a short hike

The cows had the right of way