Friday, August 27, 2021

Three Weeks Grieving - Comments from the JMG Community

 RRebel •
O/T I have been away from JMG for several days as our beloved dog, Benni (Benedict Bentley) who had degenerative myelopathy, took a turn for the worst on last Friday. On our visit to the vet on Saturday morning we said goodbye forever to our boy. It was most heartwrenching and anguishing and we sobbed and are still grieving. When it comes to a beloved pet being put down, all the forest fires and pandemics and idiots and politicians just become so much background noise. I have posted a memorial and some photos on my blog, https://reluctantrebel.blogspot.com/.

COMMENTS FROM JMG COMMUNITY  (LGBTQ NEWS BLOG) These comments from people I've never met have touched my heart and soul more than they know.


ColdCountry RRebel •  
Good by, Benni.

 






Jwmvh ColdCountry •  
That brings a tear to my eyes every time I read it! Hugs to RRebel.



TheManicMechanic RRebel •  
I'm so sorry. All that unconditional love and unbridled joy that dogs give to us all the time finds a home in your heart like nothing else. It's real, it's pure, and it's honest. And when it's gone, the hole it leaves is vast and empty. I still get upset when I'm reminded of what I lost years ago, but I have to remind myself I was lucky enough to experience it.




Doug105 RRebel •  

 







fuzzybits RRebel •  • edited 
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. We've been through it many times over the years and it never gets easier.


thatotherjean RRebel • 12 days ago 
Even when it's absolutely the right thing to do, saying goodbye to a four-legged family member is always painful. But it's still the right thing. Benni was as lucky to have you as you were to have him.




bkmn - End the filibuster! RRebel •  
Goodbye Benni. You will be missed.




JCF RRebel •  
{{{RRebel and Benni's Pack}}}



Mike P RRebel •  
I’m so sorry. Looks like he gave you both years of joy.



Beagle RRebel • 
RIP, Benni.



Stella RRebel •  
I'm so sorry.




Smokey RRebel •  
(,,,) hugs (,,,)




bobb RRebel •  
I am so sorry.




Dwight Williamson RRebel •  
Unlimited sympathy ,although we have all been through it. We are always caught unaware and our pets, the better angels of our lives leave us sad and wanting. Not what they would ever have wanted alive. I am so happy for all the years you had and so sad for your unbearable loss. ♥️




bzrd RRebel • 
you were a good boy Benni
and loved your hoomans
the very mostest
you were the
best
love




hdtex RRebel • • edited 
What a beautiful boy. I recently lost my boy Foster to the same disease. I moved heaven and earth for him, walking him in a harness and sling. He finally let me know when he had to go.




Peanuts mom RRebel •  
I cant possibly tell you how sorry i am about bennis passing. It truly hurts my heart. He looks like a wonderful guy. I just cant imagine it, though its in my future eventually. Youll be in my thoughts & ill hug my kids extra tight tonight. Take care.




Dan M RRebel •  
Sorry for your loss.




Cattleya1 RRebel •  
They are important little people in our families. I am so sorry for your loss!



BearEyes RRebel • 
It's never easy. Big bear hugs to you.




RRebel BearEyes •  
A bear hug would be most welcome. Thanks




egmister RRebel •  
Cheers to Benni! To his life! To his Love!




TuuxKabin RRebel •  
A Black Beauty. Condolences. He must have been a good filter from all that backgrounds noise. Bye, bye Benni.




Girlgoon RRebel •  
Sorry to hear it. Take time to grieve




Ninja0980 RRebel •  
Hugs.
Sorry for your loss.




Mb RRebel •  ago 
Heartfelt condolences.



B Snow RRebel •  
I'm so sorry. I know he had a great life with you.



Wednesday, August 11, 2021

And As If That Were Not Enough

 Now we have to make a terrifying car trip to South Carolina to visit Leon's mom who's been in the hospital.

And by terrifying I mean this:



Tuesday, August 10, 2021

In Memory of Our Beloved Benni - Benedict Bentley

 

On Friday morning August 6th, 2021 Benni and I walked the trails in town with his pack: Guiness, Sky, Buddy, Tulley, Ari, Tommy, Buddy2,  and the neighbors who are regular morning dog-walkers: Denise, the"Treat Lady", Heather, "Treat Lady #2", Larry, Susanne, Cindi, Bill.

Benni was slow, (see previous posts about his condition: degenerative myelopathy) but kept pace with the pack. Back home he was settled for a long nap as is his habit. I had errands to do in town and got back around 2pm. I took him out to pee and he was a bit wobbly. When Leon got home around 3:30pm Benni stumbled in the driveway when he went out to greet his Daddy.

I said to Leon, "Maybe he's a bit stiff from napping all day." We both thought that was the case and rubbed Benni's back thighs. But Benni was having some difficulties. A short while later Benni fell down while eating his dinner. His hind legs just gave out. And his 110 pounds of weight very likely caused physical injury to his leg(s) because when we tried to get him up he whimpered in pain. (Up until that point he hadn't showed any signs of pain. Pain is generally not a symptom of degenerative myelopathy.)

We called the Vet immediately and was given an appointment for the next morning, Saturday, August 7th.

It was then that I posted a request for a doggie wheelchair on "Nextdoor" - a neighborhood social media platform. We were thinking that Benni might be able to get around with a device but by later Friday night that possibility seemed very unrealistic. 

We could barely get Benni out to pee before bedtime and we arranged a number of old towels on and around his bed in anticipation of bowel or bladder accidents. He had been pooping in his sleep for several weeks and often times during the day he would head toward his doggie door but not quite make it. It seemed that my life was revolving around poop. 

Somehow, around 2:00am Benni got himself up and came over to my side of the bed - something he might do in the morning when we were waking up, but never did in the wee hours. It broke my heart. I gave him some love and rubs and scratches on his head and neck and he went to lay down on the floor. 

Leon and I were awake at 4:00am and I said, "It's about time for Benni to poop." (he had been unable to control his bowels for several weeks and he seemed to have to go between 4:00 and 5:00am). We moved the big guy onto a towel and sure enough, there was soon a nice solid (thank goodness) turd to dispose of.

A bit later Saturday morning Leon and I got Benni into the car. The two of us could barely lift his 110 pounds of dead weight. We drove the 35 miles to the Vet.

The vet assistants and Dr. D. attended us as soon as we arrived. We knew in our hearts what the outcome would be. The vet confirmed that dogs at this stage of the disease would often injure themselves by falling and then become unable to get around. She gently and compassionately suggested that Benni was telling us that he was no longer physically able to be either independent or to be cared for.

Benni was still alert, aware. And this fact made our decision all the ore difficult. He was still, as always, ready for a snack. The vet assistant gave him some treats and he soon polished off the entire contents of the packet. 

The vet let us spend some time alone with Benni - Leon, Benni and Frank. We cried and told him goodbye. We hugged him and petted him and hugged him some more.

The vet and assistant returned to the room and shaved a spot on his leg for the IV. Benni was quiet, peaceful, calm as he awaited the injections. It was over so quickly, so finally, so irretrievably. Leon and I sobbed.

When we returned home, the post about the wheelchair became Benni's obituary of sorts. And the comments of our friends and neighbors on "Nextdoor" are perhaps the best memorial to our beloved Benedict - a name that means "blessed" or "blessing". Benni was probably the only dog in the neighborhood that regularly walked without a leash most of the time. So many neighbors knew him by name.

ME: Doggie wheelchair Just wondering if anyone has a doggie wheelchair that. will fit a 100-pound dog. Our Benni just took a turn for the worse and we are barely able to get him up. Concerned that we won't be able to get him moving to do his business. We have an appointment with the vet in the morning.

Posted in: Ask a Neighbor


Don J.

Awwww! Poor Bennie. Did you look on line? Also ask Gary T if he could build you something he loves that kind of challenge


Sue

Keep us posted.πŸ’•πŸ•πŸ™


Sharon

Use a towel under his chest as a sling! Lift him up and you basically have to haul him around. Had to do it for my Riley, they will go to the bathroom πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•I am so sorry 


Melo

Sure hope the vet can do him some goodπŸ˜• Give Benni our best πŸ₯°


Aurora

I don't but I will send Bennie happy puppy thoughts so he feels better


Sylvie E.

Hope Bennie and you have a peaceful night and that the vet can help. Sending love and blessings πŸ’•πŸΆπŸ’•πŸ’žπŸΎ


Cindy

I have a lift with handles, easier than a towel and same idea. Had to use it on Gracie. Also try Marketplace on FB and check on the Santa Fe BB and ask. Hugs to Benni and his dads. Peace to you both.


ME: Perhaps we could borrow that tomorrow morning in order to get him into the car to the vet. We used a blanket tonight to take him out to P. It was not easy. He doesn’t want to put any weight on his hind legs and is reluctant to move his front legs as well. We’re thinking that we may have to decide to put him down tomorrow at the vet. The thing is that his mind is alert and he still enjoys eating and his treats. But there’s no way we can even move him easily let alone taking him out to do business.


Elizabeth

another thought - my sister's dog wasn't moving, and was stressing (he's a 12 yr old lab), and she was thinking that they were close to the end, and she got some CBD treats to try, and he's a changed pup. He stopped stressing, and she is able to take him out again. Just thought I'd share. Hugs to all of you πŸ’•


Cindy

 what time in the morning are you going? I have the lift right here. Just give me a call and I’ll run it over. 


Cyndi G

Cindy’s lift sounds like one of the harnesses I saw that allows you to support the dog’s weight. Hope it will help with carrying Benni. Bill & I have an appt. in Albuquerque tomorrow AM, so we won’t be in town to help but send love & are keeping you in our thoughts. I did read that to get a large dog in the car, with paralyzed or painful limbs, they recommend you put the pet’s front paws on the seat, then help lift the rear end, so they are able to get up more easily. I suspect you & Leon have tried a few things & hope for ease tomorrow. Maybe a fire dept. volunteer or another neighbor could help you with the lifting? (And the dog wheelchair is a good idea - stories we’ve seen are heart-warming, if mobility is the main problem.)πŸ’•πŸΎ


ME: Cyndi G. Thanks for your concern. One of our neighbors offered to help and the vet office said they would help when we arrive. We are prepared for letting him go after the difficult night we’ve all had. Thanks again.


ME: Elizabeth. We will talk to the vet about that. Thanks


Elizabeth

I'm so sorry, Frank πŸ’” Lots of love to BenniπŸ’—


Tina F.

I have a sling that I used on my 100 pound dog. Give me a call...


ME:Thank you for the kind offer. I think will be able to get him into the car this morning. I’m not optimistic about his return. Thanks


Tina F.

 thinking of you.


Pat

I have a wheelchair that I made for my Ashen, but could never get him to use. He was about 60 pounds, so I don't know if it will fit, but you are welcome to it. If it doesn't fit, my offer stands for anyone with that size dog.


ME:Thank you for the kind offer. I think he is beyond the point where a wheelchair would help.


Pam

Frank so sorry. Don’t have any doggie handicapped equipment.


ME: Thank you all for your kind words support and offers to help. I think he is beyond the point where a wheelchair will be of any help. We will see after consulting with the vet this morning. Thanks again.


Rennee

Sorry he's having a hard time. Hope things go well for him and you. ❤


Mary

Frank and Leon, I’m so sorry to hear that Benni is struggling. He’s such a sweet and kind guy. My heart is with all of you. πŸ’—


Ruth

Thoughts are with you and your faithful sidekick. The loss of his companionship will seem unbearable at first but then remember the wonderful life he enjoyed because of you.


Melody

What’s the latest on Benni?


ME: We said goodbye to Benni this morning. It was a difficult decision but the vet confirmed that he no longer had control of his body. Thanks for your concern. We miss him so much.


Margaret

 I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Of course you will be missing your Benni, but it sounds like you made the only choice possible.


Melody

Making the decision is so hard to do but watching them suffer is worse. So for those of us who love our furry friends so much make the difficult choice. He will be missed but he was truly loved. So sorry for your loss of your dear friend Benni. Bill, Melody, Hooper and Chico


Christine

So very sorry, Frank and Leon. It’s just hard to say goodbye to our furry family members.πŸ’


Aurora

My heart goes out to you and Leon. Even though we know it is the right and best choice for the baby we love, having to put them down is hard and our heart still hurts. May Benni be running and playing like a puppy in heaven


Pam

So sorry guys. He had a great life with you all. His spirit is running free🌈


Josi

So sorry for this loss.


Suzanne

Oh dear. Benni was such a good boy. Really sorry to hear this. Hope you 2 are okay.


Cindy

❤️


Joanne

So sorry for your loss.


Diane

Dear Frank and Leon, I know your pain but I also know that you made the right decision for Benni. He's running around in doggie heaven right now and thanking you two for giving him a wonderful, loving life here on earth. Bless his soul. diane


ME: Thank You All. To our wonderful neighbors in Cochiti Lake: So many of you have expressed your condolences and thoughtfulness after an inquiry about a doggie wheel chair became a notice of our Benni’s passing. We were amazed at the number of messages we received on Nextdoor and text/email messages over the past two days. We are truly grateful for all of your support. Please forgive us for not thanking each of you individually or in person as we pass you in the street or mail room. I have never been good at remembering names or connecting names to the faces they belong to; and this is more true as I get older. It is often embarrassing not to be able to greet a neighbor by name, so please do not be offended if I don’t thank you personally for your kindnesses. (I would love if we all wore name-tags when walking around town!) All of your notes and messages during this sad event has demonstrated how special are the folks who live in Cochiti Lake. We are grateful for and appreciative of your friendship and heartfelt words. Thank you all.

Sharon

Love you guys 😍


Suzanne G

Condolences on your loss of a beloved family member. Benni was so lucky to have such loving parents. πŸ’•


Michael L.

Our deepest condolences over the loss of your Benni. May you both know only peace and no further grief all the rest of your days.


Susan

I am so sorry that Benni is gone. He sure was such a sweet dog and will be truly missed.


Mark

Frank and Leon so sorry to hear of the passing of Benni. Our dogs are our family members and bets friends and companions.


Gwen

Frank and Leon...I am so sorry to read about Bennie. These dogs are definitely family, and it is so hard to lose them.


Leslie

I'm sad to learn of this. He had a kind ,warm spirit. He will be missed. He had loving parents


Wendy M

Frank and Leon - Benni will truly be missed by all of us who were blessed to know him. His was a very gentle spirit - you knew when you met him that he was deeply loved. He was the only black dog that my Daisy would have anything to do with! May you find comfort in your memories of him. Peace to you.























You can see Benni's Blog here: http://benedictbentley.blogspot.com/

Friday, August 6, 2021

Benni

 

Our Benni has taken a turn for the worse. He has (presumptive) degenerative myelopathy but was able to take a walk this morning. 

This afternoon his back legs gave out while he was eating dinner and he could not get up on his own. He is not putting any weight on his hind legs now and we are having a difficult time moving him. 

He will be seeing the vet tomorrow morning. 



Friday, July 16, 2021

Bluewater Lake New Mexico

 Most likely the nicest lake and campground we have visited in New Mexico. And the nearly perfect weather that we’ve had this summer. It was about 84° with a nice breeze and low humidity. I would say that the water it is not very inviting for anyone who likes to swim. But apparently fishing and boating are very popular pastimes here.

It is not our beloved Province Lands and National Seashore in Provincetown, MA but it will do for now. 

Wednesday, July 14, 2021

Finally a Bit of Joy From My Garden

 As I have mentioned before, gardening in New Mexico can be quite a challenge: horrible soil, worst drought in years, gale force winds in May and June and into July this year, intense scorching sun all day, cold nights in April and May, monsoons in July and August, hungry, thirsty squirrels and other critters, etc. 

But today all the effort and hard work of protecting my growing things began to give me a reward. Not so much the small harvest of veggies, but more so just the lushness of the vegetation...tomatoes, squashes, herbs, flowers all sharing space in the garden...it really made me happy...the reward was emotional...

It broke through a bit of a depression I and hubby both have been going through. (I guess I could write about that, but not today). Today, the garden made me happy.

So we had home made scacciata a Sicilian "spinach" pie with Swiss Chard (from the garden) instead of spinach, sautΓ©ed in garlic (from the garden) and olive oil, potatoes (from the garden), and Italian sausage. With a garden tomato and basil salad. Trying to do it "Mediterranean" style.  


The garlic is not large, but it will do. Plant on the shortest day, harvest on the longest day (approximately).

The four o'clocks are profuse this year.


Sunflower - a volunteer.

Parsley has re-seeded itself every year and is growing wild beyond the fence and outside the garden beds.

Today's harvest included red potatoes which were volunteers, Swiss chard, zucchini, tomatoes, basil, parsley and a handful of green beans (there should be lots more but the squirrel ate the first planting just as they emerged from the soil, so I had to replant.
"Volunteers" are plants that grow in the garden but were not purposely planted by the gardener. In winter I bury kitchen scraps directly in the garden instead of putting them into the compost pile (composting here in New Mexico is almost as challenging as gardening because it is so dry). 

So all those peelings from the potatoes, the seeds from pumpkins and squashes and other veggies survive the winter and start growing in the spring.

So this year the volunteers are acorn squash, pumpkin (or is it a pump-cchini?) butternut squash, one tomato plant, red potatoes, zinnias, fennel, parsley.

I'm tempted to "just see what grows" next year and have an "all-volunteer" garden!

Homemade bread and scacciata.



Friday, July 9, 2021

San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus Forced to Close Their Office Over Death Threats

 San Francisco Gay Men's Chorus receiving death threats over a song they did about "recruiting" kids not to hate. The comments on the YouTube posting of the video are filled with hate, lies, homophobia and vitriol. 

How discouraging it is to see so many anti-LGBT comments about the lyrics taken entirely out of context. If the comments are any indication of the sentiments of our society...things are much worse than I imagined and we are in for much more than hateful words.

The video is creative and quite innocent. But the trolls have been having a field day with it. It is not the video that should be taken down but at some point perhaps YouTube should suspend comments. 

The video has been blocked but may still be available to view on YouTube.

Thursday, July 1, 2021

Growing Things

 Growing things in New Mexico is sometimes a challenge. With the intense burning sun (the thin atmosphere does not filter out any burning rays) and the record drought and the nearly hurricane force daily winds in the spring, the plants are easily parched and stressed. 

Even though the back yard is fenced, there comes in the dead of night or early morning, the critters - squirrels, rabbits, pack rats, and then come the insects, the birds - all looking for juicy morsels, eating leaves, pecking at fruits, etc. not to mention an occasional hail storm.

After using humane traps to relocate 6 squirrels and concentrated fox urine to discourage other wild life (it didn't work) I have put cages around the most vulnerable plants and when that did not seem to be sufficient I finally erected a cage of bird netting enclosing the entire main vegetable garden, sides and top, which is approximately 12'x14'. 

Talk about keeping busy. (Mitchell, you wonder why I envy your being by the ocean. I could lay on a beach 8 hours a day and be content and shop for fresh produce at the market.)

We have begun our "monsoon" season here in New Mexico and have had a few rainy days. The garden has responded. Natural rain does wonders - that water from a hose or spigot or irrigation system doesn't do.  

So here is a tour of my gardens.

Four O'Clocks

Grown from seeds brought from Connecticut 6 years ago


Four O'Clocks have multi-colored flowers on the same plant

Bougainvillea I purchased a few years ago from Lowe's "Almost Dead Plant Rack" Otherwise known as "Frank's Bargain Gardening Rack"

Geraniums and Succulents (The ceramic guitar was from an "antique" shoppe.) 

Petunias and other assorted plants
(for some reason I have a lot of purple flowers)

The Palm from the "Almost Dead Plant Rack" a four or five years ago,
surrounded by a forest of Basil (which almost died from one day without water and the scorching sun and relentless wind back in May)

Some Geraniums, Coleus, Petunias
The two-tone Geraniums are "Martha Washingtons"

Mom's Virgin Mary looking over the front gardens
(OK, the people down the street are "christian" MAGAs, had a T___p Flag that some folks gave them grief about...and have in their front yard, a large cross made of logs with a crown of thorns and a bible verse about sin. They have mentioned on Nextdoor social media that they "disagree" with other peoples' flags (we have a rainbow flag all year long).
So I am certain that Mary in our yard has got to be heresy to these Fundies. They just don't get the Blessed Virgin at all.
As I said to someone, we Catholics don't talk directly to Jesus, we go to Mary, then she talks to her son. That just makes so much more sense. (Well as much sense as anything in religion, I guess)

So ever since Leon relayed a news item to a couple of lesbian neighbors about a shortage of gnomes in England, they have been decorating our front yard with all kinds of things, this gnome being the first one. Virgin Mary probably doesn't approve.

And then a pinwheel

And a rubber snake


And toy dinosaurs

More Dinosaurs and a Plastic Plant
When will this madness end?

The Giant Yucca

Russian Sage in bloom and the bees love it.

This Fig Tree arrived mail-order in April as if it had come off the
"Almost Dead Plant Rack"
It is surviving with some loving care. Notice the chicken wire cage.

I have resorted to putting cages around many of my veggies because of critters - squirrels, pack rats, rabbits? They raid at night and eat the tender plants.
This is an artichoke, grown from seed.
I will be surprised if it produces anything this season

The peaches are getting big...may be ripe by the end of July!?

Ordinary Kale, Lacinato Kale, Green Beans
The darn critters ate the green bean sprouts and I had to replant.
Last year I was picking beans by this time

One of several heirloom tomatoes - San Marzano

This Acorn Squash was a "volunteer" meaning I did not plant it - it grew from the kitchen scrap compost that was dug into the garden soil.

I did plant zucchini. Luckily the squash bugs haven't gotten the word that I have zucchini at this address. Last time I tried growing squash, two or three years ago, the bugs invaded and killed it all. Couldn't even use the dead plants in the compost for fear of the bugs surviving the winter.

Another Zucchini

I bought grass seed two years ago. One does not plant grass in New Mexico unless you want to water it almost daily and "mow" it eventually. However I decided to plant a patch because Benni, the dog loves to roll in the grass at the town green. He presumptively has Degenerative Myelopathy and so I wanted to provide a nice grassy area in the yard for him. Maybe I'll rent/borrow a goat when it needs mowing.

Golden Raspberries - last season, after bearing some nice fruit, they seemed to develop a disease of some sort - the tips of the stems where the flowers would be and where fruit would develop were withering. So I cut them all down to the ground (they are ever-bearing so usually bear fruit on one-year-old stems. Hopefully we will get some fruit this season on the new stems.

Egyptian onions. I have no idea/memory where these particular ones came from. I remember my grandma used to have them and we had them at my childhood home. They reproduce and re-seed. I use them in cooking very infrequently. 

Another "volunteer" - it is a squash or melon of some type. No fruit yet.

So I had emailed the plant retailer when the fig tree arrived almost dead. They sent me another one weeks later but whoever packaged the replacement fig  put it up-side down in the packing box(purposely? no, I'm not that cynical) which clearly was marked "This End Up" It arrived rather crushed from having been scrunched by the pot/soil it was planted in. I planted it next to the one that was "half-dead" and now I have two very small fig trees that are alive and thriving.
(Did I mention how it took me several days with a sledge hammer and rebar and shovel to dig a hole through the New Mexico caliche for these fig trees?) 

Rosemary "Rosmarino"

Another heirloom tomato "German Queen"
I have about 6 varieties of tomato, several of peppers and eggplants

A third planting of green beans in a cage. I will tell you that the effort and frustration I've expended/experienced this year in trying to grow veggies has been more than the satisfaction. But if I give up gardening, what would I do for exercise? To keep busy? Also, as Leon says, I pray a lot, though the folks down the street would probably call it taking the lord's name in vain, a definite sin.

Oregano - the critters don't touch it.

Parsley, basil, fennel - thankfully, also not appetizing to the critters 

More purple petunias

Another rubber snake courtesy of the neighbors

Montauk Daisies - a perennial from a store in Connecticut. These are common on Cape Cod and New England and are doing well here. Blossoms in late summer - autumn.

Drought tolerant Lavender 

Black-eyed Susans just beginning to bloom

Red Yarrow, also drought tolerant 


I already harvested the garlic. It is drying/curing on a rack in the garage. Garlic is a staple in our kitchen. We also ate all the lettuce and arugula as they are early veggies.

And that is my garden tour for July 1, 2021. I will be sure to post an update or two or three as things progress.

Have a great Holiday weekend!

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