Friday, January 22, 2010


When in the Course of MARKET events, it becomes POSSIBLE for CORPORATIONS to dissolve the political bands which have connected PERSONS with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and SUPREME station to which the SUPREME COURT and REPUBLICANS entitle them, a DISRESPECT FOR the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to TAKE CONTROL.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all CORPORATIONS are created equal, that they are endowed by their CEO with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are BUYING POLITICIANS, CONTROLLING THE GOVERNMENT and the PURSUIT OF PROFITS.  That to secure these rights, CORPORATIONS are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the AMOUNT OF MONEY THEY CAN SPEND, That whenever any Form of Government GETS IN THEIR WAY it is the Right of the CORPORATIONS to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their PROFITS and MARKET GROWTH.  GREED, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should --- be changed for SELF-SERVING causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to REALIZE WHEN THEY ARE BEING BOUGHT.  But IT WON'T TAKE a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object TO reduce them under absolute Despotism, FOR WITH OUR MONEY IT CAN BE ACHIEVED SOON.



  1. Splendid parody, Frank. T.J. would be proud.

    Can it get any worse? Stay tuned for the November elections.

  2. Nice work, Frank! Oh, that it weren't so true. I think we're in for some rough times ahead because of this latest development.



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