Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Roles, Chores and Being Family

We, as gay men, are fortunate not to be restricted to certain roles based on gender.  The other day Leon and I fixed our clothes dryer, yesterday he and the boys were out shoveling a customer's roof, while I made  eggplant and veal parmigiana; today Leon "Betsy Ross" got out his grandma's sewing machine and sewed two old couch cushions together to make a new bed for our dog Benni while I worked on a grant.  He also  gave Benni a bath.  After lunch we're both out clearing the driveway and truck of new snow.

Benni's new bed.
Depending on the occasion, we cook, sew, run a chainsaw or a rototiller, make arts and crafts projects, do auto detailing, build a stone wall,  fix things, garden, iron, do yard work, and home maintenance.  We work well together and often pick up a chore where the other left off.  I'm not crazy about ladders, washing cars or connecting electronics;  Leon doesn't like to write or cook (although he cooks pretty well) or fuss over the garden.  I clean the toilet, he cleans the tub.  But not necessarily.

Leon snow-blowing (there aren't too many pics of me snow-blowing because when I'm snow-blowing Leon isn't taking pictures).
I am purported to be the "worrier" but Leon will not sleep knowing there is a foot and a half of snow on the roof or planning how to park the camper when we get to that campground two days hence.  I figure the roof will take care of itself and the camper will get parked, but I worry about whether that plastic container can go in the recycle bin or whether the fish I just bought was wild caught and sustainable. 

A new place to hike with Benni
After twenty-two years we still enjoy each other's company and doing things together - whether finding a new place to hike with the dog or going on a trip to England. (Yeah, we're going to England).  Our roles in our little family are pretty interchangeable, fluid, and also complementary.  It makes for a good domestic partnership, and a good marriage (though we're not legal yet).  I'm content and glad to be gay.

The butch truck up to here in snow

Ice Box
Driveway, first pass with the blower


  1. Connecting electronics? In this house I design and/or build electronics.

    The amplifier - it's an STA540 kit I put together.

    Yeah, I'm geeky that way.

  2. I'm happy for you guys. Appreciate each other because once one of you is gone you will miss greatly what you had.

  3. Sweet. You guys must be living right because you sure are blessed. I'm envious of everything but the freaking snow.



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