For example, if I were a psychic, medium, healer, I could offer to "remove ghosts and negative entities from your home or body in one session - by phone or in person" and teach you to "talk to your guardian angels and spirit guides within one hour". You will "feel their presence - by phone or in person." Naturally I would prefer doing it over the phone (I would take all major credit cards) as I would not have to change out of my sweats or waste gas. As ghosts, negative entities and angels are invisible, as are my services, there would be no refunds.
To prepare myself I could attend a workshop to learn about "activating the star merkaba of one's self and of the sacred mountains and lakes" or to learn "holotropic breathwork". The "art of sacred sexuality" sounds like fun. I might just "call today for accelerated awareness" to "open the door to financial abundance". (but they don't tell you where this door is located - it's probably at the top of Mt Everest)
Or I could send for a mail order ordination and practice "divine intervention", "spontaneous remission", "intra-dimensional web working", "22 strand DNA activation" and the "King Solomon healing modality", but I'm not certain if these can be done over the phone. The "144 strand DNA activations" are obviously more advanced. I didn't do well in college physics, so I don't think I can master "the laws of larger physics...utilizing a specific dimension and hertz frequency" to "enable source to come through...to create a miracle". Now this is different from "full spectrum energy" healing which sounds like something you can get at Home Depot in the lighting department. "Deep space clearing" is probably not removing debris from outer space, but I can't be 100% sure about that.
"Auric record cleaning" sounds like it has something to do with a cluttered hard drive while "ear candling" is playing with fire. Having lived with a dog for 15 years, I know about "animal communication" and I have a garden so perhaps I could be a "herbalist. I have a background in counseling so I can enhance my skills as an "intuitive counselor" and even become "clairaudient" as well as "clairvoyant".
Could I easily learn "relocation astrology"? to find "your best map locations for career and romance, natal, seven rays esoteric". With my Apple laptop's built-in camera I can do "aura photography" so you can "see your true colors, and your aura/chakras, LIVE, on-screen!!" With some training I could be a male witch and offer "contact with spirits, spells cast and removed" to "get back the one you love".
With a little weekend training I might become an "abundance and empowerment coach" and "channel divine love and wisdom" during "soul rejuvenation sessions". I definitely don't want to clean your colon, you can do that yourself. You can, however, "unlock the secret of your immortal memories" by allowing me to lead you into a "past life regression" or a "life between lives regression". This sounds like too much work on my part, cuz I know how resistant you can be.
The possibilities seem endless. Maybe I'll just open a boutique where I can sell all the beach stones I've collected - and that have, of course, stored within them the power of the moon and tides and are sure to cure whatever ails you.
Let me leave you with an apropos fun, musical ditty by the gay duo Romanovsky and Phillips: "Waltz for the New Age"